136. How to Think Transformatively in Every Aspect of Your Life | John Monte

John and his wife, Sherri, are the co-founders of Elegant Simplicity. By blending education, organization + design, They’ve created a proven methodology that empowers families to make home feel like the ultimate guilty pleasure. 

Since their humble beginnings back in 2009, they’ve helped professional athletes, Fortune 100 Executives, and hundreds of other clients live a more purposeful life by designing and organizing their home.  

They are no strangers to highly-renowned international and national publications such as Architectural Digest, Southern Living, NBC News, Yahoo Lifestyle, and Readers Digest. 

Thrive Marriage Lab by Restory 
Want a Stronger Marriage? Join the Thrive Marriage Lab Waitlist! Code FORGED for $20 off

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

Cartwright Morris: 0:02

Welcome in the men are forged Podcast. I'm excited to have John Monty today. John's coming from Seattle, Washington, beautiful part of the country, gotten to go there a couple times and loved it every time. John and his wife Sherry are part of elegant simplicity, which I'm really excited just to. It's interesting, those two words together, what that means and hearing that from him. But, John, it's great to have you in today.

John Monte: 0:49

Yeah, thank you for having me, man. Super excited to be here and just kind of, you know, share as much as I can.

Cartwright Morris: 0:55

Absolutely. So John, I mean, I love unpacking people's story. So I did see something in your bio about you used to be a college football coach. Is that right? Yeah. So really, I'd love to hear what got you into that. And initially and an hour, you still keep it, you still got a team that you're keeping tabs on? Yeah, of course.

Unknown: 1:18

So yeah, man, I think like, like a lot of us, we all kind of have our first love. And mine was a bonding moment and an opportunity with my dad. So my dad grew up in South Philadelphia, I grew up in Pennsylvania, and from four or five, I mean, he was taking me the Eagles games. And, you know, I was getting to watch all the all the greats. And there was a pageantry, there was just a fandom, you know, Philadelphia's got this blue collar feel to it. And so they often, Philadelphia fans often get the wrath of the rest of the nation. But yeah, for me, it was like I was in all of like, how city can be so unified with, with a team, right, and a team body, the same values and principles as that blue collar city. And just as a little kid, I was just infatuated by this. And so, you know, played sports, played football, played baseball, but really, it was it was football, that I found opportunities to grow in and become a leader. And yes, somewhere along the lines after college, I started helping out at a junior college coach in football, and had always kind of kept that as a side of me if, for whatever reason, I had always kept business and academics separate from from athletics, and probably my mom speaking to me about, you know, you know, getting good grades as the opportunity to play, you know, to be in athletics. And so, from a really early age, I was connected to football, and it was always the thing that I just, I just kind of fell in love with. And when I got out of college, I had a master's in coaching. And I was like, What am I going to do now, like, I don't know, I didn't know if I was getting a coaching degree to be a college football coach, or if I was getting coaching to be in high school athletic, athletic administrator, or if I was getting a degree in a master's in coaching to be a good leader, right, I wasn't really sure I just knew that I was called and felt this drawl to it. And so I started helping out this junior college and it it kind of grew my knowledge and my experience and, and I think also just my, my very innate leadership of accountability. And willing to, to own what is mine, and to also expect of others, a same level of accountability, that really kind of separated myself in my early 20s. So I was a became while I was an assistant and then became a receiver coach. Then I became an offensive coordinator, a junior college. And then I jumped up to the division two level and was an assistant receiver coach at Central Washington. And then I was the receiver coach at at army West Point. So that was really Wow. Really, you know, again, leadership and football and these values all kind of seemed my life always seemed to be kind of converging with these two things. And, yeah, so I'm a diehard Eagles fan. The second part of the question was you keep tabs. I'm still heartbroken over the Super Bowl. So at the time of this trip, but it's a

Cartwright Morris: 4:40

good day to be an Eagles fan. I mean, you're got some good times right now.

Unknown: 4:44

It's It's amazing. It's amazing because the group is individuals, leadership, right and collectively built around core values. Coach Sirianni talks a lot about it. Jalen talks a lot about it, but all the leaders in that locker room they're very, they're very, very, very built around. There's an older generation and a younger generation that are unified by those values. And so that's really what I think is special to watch as a as a as an Eagles fan. So,

Cartwright Morris: 5:14

it so this isn't, I mean, there's a lot of questions, Man, I'm really curious to your time. Yeah. In army but so we talked about, you know, before we hit record just about building organizations. And you answer you just talked about like having the older younger that I've found that the best team football teams are ones that are self police, did you find that in coaching where the plate the your better team that you were coaching kind of had to that similar part of the culture?

Unknown: 5:44

Yeah, I mean, I think that you know, there's a, there's a kind of, I always go back to this. So we're at practice LS point we're at the end of a live scrimmage, things are kind of getting a little chippy. And at West Point, there's a there's a strong moral compass, as we would expect, but things still get chippies football, right. And so things happen, and a receiver peel black peel back blokes on a defensive back and deeply Tim. And you know, it wasn't it wasn't intentional wasn't spiteful, you know, in the human being it was it was just football, you just saw it, boom, and reacted. And both sides rushed the field. Now there's no fist fighting, but there is is anime. Right? It was like, Hey, man, we're this friendly fire. It's not okay. And we separate offensive defense. And we break into positions. And I'm walking back to my position. Now knowing that my player, one of my guys has instigated this uproar, right? And I'm relatively new at this point. Right? So I'm like, I'm not new to football. But I'm new to the United States Military Academy. Right? I'm walking back. And I'm thinking to myself, alright, how do I, how do I approach this? Right? What's my, what's my, how am I coming? I'm not coming in hot, or am I coming in and kind of cool. And we ask them questions, where are we going? Right. And I get to my, my group of 12. And they had already policed it, they had already, they had already totally taken the air out of the space. I mean, it was just, it was a vacuum, it was just gone. And it was nothing. Right. And, you know, play our owns right up to us, like, Hey, man, that was a football play. I didn't mean to do that. Right, we owned up to it right away. Before we even exit the field. It was it was completely gone from the whole team, right? From the whole team. And then in poor organizations with with without that ability, that code, they, they it breaks and it becomes cancer, and it becomes this happen. Now let's let's go to the next level on the other side, then then there's another side, right? And we're in the, the depth of what was wrong continues to get higher in its stakes. And that's not the way that the best organizations operate. The best organizations can air that laundry, get rid of it, and then really move beyond it right and grow from it.

Cartwright Morris: 8:27

Yeah, but they don't walk around the conflict, actually embrace it, and actually realize it's a good thing for them to move forward. It was

Unknown: 8:34

completely gone within within less than five minutes. It was it had completely evaporated. Right now this was a at the military academy. sleeves are called Fresh are freshmen are called plebes. And first, these are seniors. And this was a first at a senior who had completely removed it right, from the conflict from our position group with a pleat. Right. And so here we are, it's like, you know, we're just self regulating, right, that accountability. And the duty to always be leading is very, very present in great organizations. Yeah, I think it's present not just in great organizations, I think it's present in great families. I think it's I think it's present in, in great relationships. Right. So yeah, it's it's not just organizations or teams.

Cartwright Morris: 9:28

100%. Yeah, I heard somebody said the best mom he's ever seen as a mom with seven kids because they all started just raising each other.

Unknown: 9:36

It's true, it is true. I mean, mom does one thing, right, and then it continues on there. Yeah.

Cartwright Morris: 9:43

So what else what other leadership qualities or things that you saw? You know, because I'm sitting there, when you say West Point, I thought a friend of mine did like a leadership program for, you know, civilians up there, and all the lessons he learned so I I'm just curious when you kind of go into the coaching ranks and junior college, division two, and then you go to West Point, what were some of the maybe differentiating leadership, things that you saw they did that you didn't see before.

Unknown: 10:12

Yeah, there's a lot. My my rise to West Point or my journey, I wouldn't even call it a rise. But my journey to West Point as a football coach was met with a lot of, you know, poor examples of what it looks like. And that doesn't mean that the places that I coach were poor. In their leadership, there was a lot of really good leaders, but there's examples inside of every single institution and examples inside of our own lives, where we're just not the best, we're just not always at our peak. And it's, it's, it's not, it's not the event or the action, but the reaction that changes it. And I think at West Point, what separates that time period in my coaching career is that the communication is what was heard, not what was spoken. Right. And so it's, it's our interpretation of what is being said, not necessarily what is being said, right, it's like, how do we individually and then collectively, as a group, interpret that and move forward? And I think that that's really, really evident there. It was certainly evident. It's not an imprint that I made upon my group. It's an imprint that that my group at West Point, and that being around that culture made upon me, right. That's the United States Military Academy. It's just, yeah, it's a level of elitism, right. And it's just just operates on a different level. Yeah. Wow. That's

Cartwright Morris: 11:49

cool. So imagine, so I'm really getting excited to hear what what you how you pivoted to what you're doing now, but I kind of want to stay here in the career path, because I feel like my, my audience, you know, is these, you know, men that are trying to grow in their career and understand, you know, what is the ideal career path? How do you define success? So, you know, what are some of the things I mean, coaching in itself, college football coaching is such a niche in a different animal than most careers. But being moving from place to place, what were some of the things that you look back on that you wish you'd done differently, but also that you were right, really thankful for?

Unknown: 12:29

Well, I mean, I think, I think when we're when we're trying to, you know, like speaking specifically to your audience, like trying to identify that career path, or potentially even being introspective in their own chosen career path of like, eight, should I continue, right, I think we're all naturally at this, at this place in the world where we're, especially when we reach a level of success. I mean, we've been down that road where we're trying to identify as like, is this it? Is this do I continue? Right? And so for me, it was, it was always that, that I'm not perfect, right? And that was a huge self limiting belief that I had. Was that like, I needed to be perfect. I always had even when I was telling you about that story, right? What am I gonna say? Am I coming in hot mic coming in calm and cool, and ask him questions, because I was always so introspective, right. And it wasn't that I, that I, I had to be perfect. It's that I cared so much that I wanted to always be providing something that was incredible value. And you know, what, showing up and being present and being accountable is an immense value. And so I think as like, as I think about even my my time coaching football, it was like this innate desire drove me this perfectionism, it drove me to be really, really good. It drove me to be to be really to care, right? And the moment that I recognized that as an asset of mine, and not a limiting belief, I could ignite that growth, right? If I could look at perfectionism and say, wow, like, look at what it does for me look at this set, right? I mean, in finance, you talk about asset and liabilities, like perfectionism can be an asset if you use it for you, right? And I'm not a perfectionist expert, but this is like, at the core fans, what drove me is like, I cared so much, right? I wanted so much I wanted so much significance, not just success, I wanted to impact people at their core. And that drove me to focus on story that drove me to focus on on character. That's true, you know, made me focus on on values and codes of honor and things that were really really innate to me as a coach. Right. And how would they parlay into my personal life or My for my professional life with other colleagues, right? Yeah. So I don't know if that answers necessarily your yeah, like I think perfectionism like it for me it was identifying that perfectionism wasn't a limiting belief, right? It was that, hey, I can use this as an asset for growth.

Cartwright Morris: 15:20

Absolutely. Like I think you said it well with, you know, even hitting on character and story. I'm like, this is something I try to tell my clients just like. So how did you evaluate those things that I am the character that's driving my own story and actually, like when we love a good story, we love good movie love a good book. But yeah, we don't want that for our own life. We don't want the up and down. We don't want the character developing portions of our lives. You know, so

Unknown: 15:48

we want the peak. The peak, right? The resolution is clear and calm waters, right. Yeah, the last three minutes of the movie.

Cartwright Morris: 15:57

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But we want I mean, you're a Philly guy. Like, we want the Rockies. You know, the rocky story inspires us.

Unknown: 16:05

Yeah. They play it before every game in Philadelphia, rocky comes on the theme song right. Here it comes. They're playing it on the Jumbotron. Right. It embodies the values. Right. And I think that that, you know, member early in the conversation, I was saying that the city of Philadelphia and the team are so closely connected, right? Why do they play that? Well, they play that, in my perspective, I've been, you know, a fan for nearly 30 years. My perspective is they play that because they know it's tapping into something. That's true. More than fans and for their team, right? It's tapping into something when you hear those bells, right, that rock I get shivers right now because that arc of their city, right? And I think for us, you're right, we don't necessarily want the trials, we don't want it want. We don't want the tribulation, we don't want the struggle. But it's the it's the it's the reaction to the struggle that changes our future. It's it's the it can be reflective you can be your reaction can be to be introspective and learn from it, right. But it's your reaction, it's how you move forward. After the struggle, whatever it might be, it could be a small struggle, it can be a big struggle. But it's that growth, that's the growth, that's the process. That's where you see all the hard work, paying off isn't the reaction to it, because we can be hit with a roadblock, we can be hit with anything. That's an obstacle, challenge anything. And if we choose to retreat, we never get that we never got that growth. We never got through it. Right. And I'm a believer. So I believe that God is always giving you these tests. And if you retreat, he just gotta find another way to give you the test, because he knows you're going to become that person. Right? Yeah. He on the other side of it, and he knows what you're going to become. So he's just gonna have to keep presenting you with that test. I think it's a lot about the reaction to the obstacle or to the challenge. And that for me was looking at the perfectionism of like, why do I care so much? Right? Yeah. Oh, I want significance success. I want significance, I want real impact. So I'm constantly even though I'm not coaching, reaching out to the players and the people that I was surrounded by during my coaching time, because I want to make sure that they understand and they know that that significance mattered, right? They want that they know that I'm still there.

Cartwright Morris: 18:38

That's good. Yeah, I mean, something that just you saying that I mean, as a believer myself, I'm like, you either are like, either you humble yourself or God humbles you. Like that's what's going to happen. Like you yourself, use that as, but that's a good thing. Yeah, like because those humbling moments allow us to evaluate and actually look at the problem be like, Man, there's something more that's going on, that's actually redemptive, like you said, like, I'm wanting more significance and impact in these men's lives. Yeah, that's, that's great, man. Well,

Unknown: 19:08

that's why you're here. Right. So you got the podcast, that's why you're coaching. Right. So I got masterminds because like, you really care about that. It's important.

Cartwright Morris: 19:17

Yeah, man. So I am Yeah, so we're kind of gotten this point. I mean, speaking of the humbling tough moments, now I don't know if this was for you, or it was a an epiphany or just a revelation that you have what led to the alright, you built this career in coaching and you really experienced you know, a height at you know, being at West Point. And what what changed for you to be now in, you know, how to business with your wife and interior design and home visitation.

Unknown: 20:31

How do you go from the alpha male sport of football, like, literally the grid iron to working in people's homes? Um, ya know, it's the transition that I reflected on, really it came down to we had a son, and I no longer wanted to go and coach and be away from my son. For those that length of time that it was gonna take to commit when you're a football coach you're in, you're all in, there's no other option. And I don't mean that football coaches can't have families. I just mean that, for me, being a dad was being present. And I was really after how President was going to be my wife and I, we have our own unique family building journey that we don't have to go into. But it came down to wanting to make sure that you know, that my son knew that he was important to me, and that I was going to be available to him. And I was going to be there to teach him. And so I made a decision. My wife and I had our business going in the background while I was in the background for me while I was coaching, right? First. But we had our business going and and then our son was born and held him and I just realized I had an opportunity to go to Princeton and just realized that it wasn't something that I I wanted to do anymore. And love to coach a Love Ball. It's amazing. It's there's nothing like being in that kind of environment. But for me, it was, it was a value system of what kind of dad was I going to be I was mentored by Dennis green. He was the head coach at Stanford. He was the head of Northwestern. Obviously, the head coach of the Minnesota Vikings and the Arizona Cardinals drafted the greats Randy Moss, Larry Fitzgerald, right. So I was mentored by him. And he used to always say to me, John, why do you want to be a football coach? You're too smart. You're too smart to be a football coach. Right? And I always think Oh, is you know, flattering, right? He knows what kind of grind it is. But through that I learned a lot about the time away from his own family and the sacrifices that he had to make in when he passed away. That was kind of the turning point for me holding my son and realizing that, wow, that time is short, and it can be short lived. And what do I want to do I want to be present. So as a father, I chose being present over kind of a career path. And building our own business now has been a great blend of that opportunity. I mean, there's definitely been, as we were speaking about some challenging times with time management, per se, but you know, but that's all you know, I think Rory Vaden says, do things today to save time tomorrow, right? And so there's these windows, right, and the seasons of intense work, and then seasons of harvest. So you know, you so yeah, so that's kind of how I made the transition. It was like something that was happening for sharing and I in the background, and then I became a father in my life and my perspective changed quite a bit. And our business had always been about creating home around your values. We just never said it like that. We just never said you know that the things that we curate for you and curates a fancy word for saying, you know, select for you on your behalf, right? Should come from your actual values as a person and as a family, right? We shouldn't just be making aesthetic decisions for for for that sake. So that's kind of where we started to really realize that wow, home was so much bigger than four letter word. It was a love investment. Right? It was like, Ah, I don't want to coach anymore because I don't want to be separated from my family for those time periods. And wow, what if we brought that into the home? What if we brought that love investment back into the home so yeah,

Cartwright Morris: 24:43

man, that's so cool. And and it from the little I know, it just sounds like you did put down like a career even a dream that you had to support your wife's dream? Yeah. Oh,

Unknown: 24:57

I mean, it's interesting, too. It's like I think at that point, it became our dream, right? It became and I just had this revelation, you know, not long ago, but like for a very long time after that transition. I reserved my coach Monty right that buyer that that like that, you know, I'm very energetic coach. I like to fly around like to have fun. I encourage my my my players, my group, my position group, or if I'm leading the offense, I encourage them to fly around and have a good energy that they bring to practice not this subdued and for a long time. I limited that in our business. In just recently, I've started to realize as we were talking about team building and culture, and I started to realize, Wow, that energy that I have as a coach has to be present in our business right has to be present in order for our business to grow and to scale. As a professional. I can't withhold that that's a part of me that energy that I bring to the field is the same energy I have to bring to to our business. And it's a transition, but it gets people going. Right. I think there's there's this idea that, you know, we're all born with these the same amount of lifeforce particles, right. And this is very sciency. So bear with me if you're not a science. I but we're all born with these lifeforce particles. And over the course of time, we hear things or we witness things or we experience things that control those lifeforce particles, they stop them from being free. And what we really have to do is open ourselves up to realize that like, Hey, if you're a football coach, but you're in corporate America, you can bring that same energy, you can separate you it will give you a distinguishing asset, your character, that people will be magnetic to you, they will want to be around you because your energy is so polarizing. Your the platform is football, or the platform is sales and marketing. Right? Neither here nor there. Right,

Cartwright Morris: 27:10

man, that's cool. Yeah, John, I mean, I'm really fascinated, because it's, there's something, especially in this day and age, when everybody is working more from home more virtual jobs are being created. That how do you? How do you and your wife Sherry really create? Um, yeah, a unique space, that specific size personality, because you'll talk about really the introspective part of of your work that's really just unique. That's not just simply like, Hey, we're worked on some couches and some paintings on the wall.

Unknown: 27:47

Yeah, yeah, no, it's true. So there's two, there's two things here. So one we say that design is is inspiration, not replication. The idea here is that like, we're not trying to reproduce what you see on Instagram, or we're not trying to recreate what you see on Pinterest, or, you know, a lot of times we get sidetracked by all of the way these other spaces look, and we're not actually focused on how we want our home to look and feel, right, how we need it to function for our life. And what kind of environment do we want to create? A lot of times, we often want, you know, the things that are very surface level, we want a place that's comfortable, we want to place it's nice when a place that's beautiful, right? Okay, that's, that's great. Those are good places to start. But more deeply, right? If we're in a home office, and you're a remote worker, that space, it's got to be it's got to be maximized for productivity, it's got to be maximized, powering for inspiring for producing, for efficiency, right. And that's really where we come at it, where we take our clients through three phases. And you could do this, we do this for design, but you can do this for your life. We say first thing, first phase is you're going to assess, you're going to assess what you want. You're going to assess what you need, right? And so you're thinking specifically, we're talking about home, so let's just kind of put it in application. It's like, okay, if we are talking about an a home office, right, it's like, okay, well, do I need a big desk? Do I need a standing desk? So I need a desk where I said, both? Do I need a place where I can sit and stand? Right? I need studio lighting? Do I need a microphone? Do I need clean surface areas? Do I need compartmentalized? You know, organizers, right? What do I need? Right around that space. And some of these things you can see are very functional driven. And other things then become the aesthetic part of it is like, how do I want this place to feel? Do I want it to be bright? Right? Do I do I want it to be dark and moody, right? Do I want it to be inspiring? Do I want it to be casual? uncomfortable, right? It's like what do we want? So you're assessing that space, and then you can assess your life to very much like I did when you had my son, our son, I was assessing what I wanted my future to look like what did I want? What did i What did I want my family life to look like? What did I want my son to look like? about our relationship? What I wanted him to reflect back on I want him to say dad was there. Dad was there man he was there always showed up, right? That's what I wanted. And so that, for me was very easy. It wasn't jumping on Sherry's dream. It was redefining my dream, right? Was that yes, I'm right. It's like Oh, yeah. And so and so then you're gonna go after yourself. spent then your we call it act assess, curate and transform. The next step is you're going to curate now you got to do the work, right? Everybody wants to know the transformation everybody wants, like we could say you jumped to the end of the movie because you want to know how it ends, right? Especially if it's seven movies, you're like, Hey, can I just know? Like, what happens? Right? You know, right? Or you jump to the end of the novel, right? So everybody wants to transformation, they all want it to be done just like that, especially in our homes were like, I don't want to go through a remodel, I don't want to do this new bill, right? I don't want to do this long transformational process. But the reality is to create a space that's truly in a life that's truly unique to you. That's everything that you need, you have to do the work. So you have to assess and begin to do the curation. Now you start to think about what are the things that I want to go find? What are the things that I need to learn? What are the skills that I need to acquire to go to the next level? So for your audience, if we were talking about life? It would be a if I want a promotion? What's that skill that's going to get me to that promotion? Right? What things do I need to do to move beyond where I am right now, if I'm stuck, if I'm in an obstacle, if I've got to challenge a roadblock right in front of me, how do I break through that? Does it look like joining a mastermind? Does it look like joining a coaching program? Does it look like reading a book write a self help book, does it look like you know, spending more time away from the screen, it's assessing and curating what those things are, and then you got to go do them, you actually have to they don't, you can't, you can't read the Cliff Notes, you got to read the book. You can't skim through the teaching material you got to invest in be in the material, body, that material to get the growth to get the transformation. Right. And the last phase is the transformation. Everybody wants the transformation. We all want that right. And sometimes we get underway in the transformation. And we're like, we talked about a little bit about retreating or going through, you know, sometimes we get to the, to the to the transformation, where like, is this house ever gonna look like a house again? Cuz right now there's RAM board everywhere. There's paint masking all over the place, like my furnitures in a totally different location? Like, what is this transformation look like? Sometimes we get in the middle, and we get in the weeds of personal or self help transformation. And we're like, this is uncomfortable, right? This is not what I want. Like I'm, I just rather retreat back. But the pain of being where you were, has to be greater for you to go for you to push, you have to feel a greater sense of pain or a greater sense of friction or discomfort. To get yourself through it. You have to want it more. So yeah, so that's the process, assess curae transform, I think it applies to the not just home, but it applies to life.

Cartwright Morris: 33:46

Yeah, it's you have to take even the good ideas and actually act on them. They're not they can't just stay nice little ideas. It's you. You can't just clip little pictures out of the magazine. Right.

Unknown: 33:59

You got to stop there, you know, you gotta go beyond it. Right? Yeah, great place to start.

Cartwright Morris: 34:04

So So in the process, where have you seen some of the bigger problems that your clients have in really going through this process?

Unknown: 34:13

Yeah, I'd say that a lot of people. I wouldn't necessarily say that it's a, it's a challenge that they have, that our clients have. But it's definitely a unique difference in the clients that we do work with. They are hungry and eager and ready to do the work around their values, right to identifying their core values of how we're going to build home, right? How are we going to create space for you and your family? What actually matters to you. So we say homes, everything you need and nothing more? How do we get to need we got to get to need right? We got to get in the weeds of it and identify what need looks like for you. It could be minimalist for some people and it could be maximalist for another right. It could be totally, it could be a tiny home. It could be a mansion, right? It could be need is unique to you. It depends on your desires, what you want, right and you're what you truly need in your life. And so our clients are not often challenged by that process, but they're eager to jump in. Now. That doesn't mean that it's easy, right? I didn't say I didn't say it was easy to do that work because it's not right. And but there's an eagerness, there's an urgency, because there's something at stake for them. Yeah, pain of where they were is no longer where they want to be. And so they're willing to go to that distance or willing to go to the end. To

Cartwright Morris: 35:50

break through. Yeah.

Unknown: 35:52

And then when you when you're creating that space, I mean, it just, when you create that space around values, everything is validated by it. Like, oh, why that pink color? Well, because you said this and this. Why, why that sofa? Because your family needs this, this and this is how you use the space. Why that bookcase? Why that built in? Why that why those hardwood floors, right? Because this, this and this, now you have this foundation. So you can imagine if you applied this to your life, as a man, what this process of assess, curating transform of like how you could truly, truly map your growth. Because you can look at the transformation that you want to have. And then you can start with assessing, how do I get there? What are the things that I need to do to get there?

Cartwright Morris: 36:41

Yeah, man, John, there's something you've kind of explained it, just them but I am curious, because I think there is people who probably hear this be like, What is my values have to do with how my home is shaped? That I think what you're hitting on is really what because I think everyone at the end of the day, like, values can just be values that can't just be words in the wall, actually have to be evident in your life. And I think having the home is is one big way to have that. But how, yeah, how are you making values be more evident in people's homes and their life where people know like, not just by what you say, but how you how you live your life that these are these what you hold true to?

Unknown: 37:24

Yeah, one of the ways that I think is very, I think a lot of people can understand is if we say that sustainability is important to you, sustainable practices, then we want to make sure that we're bringing things into your home that have a sustainability to them, they might not be the most sustainable, right, they might not be the highest level of sustainability. But if they have some level of sustainability to it, there's a great value, you said that, that the the environmental practices and how we create a dining room table, or how a chair is is created, or where its chair, where it's created is important to you. Same thing would be durability, right? We could talk about the different the hardness of the floors that were selecting on your behalf, right, and why we would select, say, at a wood, right, or, versus a traditional hardwood, right. And so there's all of these values that come out of of our conversation in our work together that determine what we're actually selecting and curating on your behalf in your home. The same exact thing that happened in your life, they we can't in a football. In an athletic department, we don't just put core values on the wall and just go, oh, there's grit. Oh, there's courage, right? Oh, there's fundamentals. Right? No, it's like, well, actually, we're no, we're really digging into them. We've defined them for values are defined. And then they're, they're applied. Right? They're defined and then they're applied, there's an application to value to a value system that you have to have, if you don't have it, then you basically have yourself a great sheet of paper with some kind words on them, right? I mean, it's true, right? We have to we have to live by our value system, that we were believers. There's a value system that comes along with believing, right, yeah.

Cartwright Morris: 39:29

And

Unknown: 39:31

yeah, so I mean, whether it's whether it's your life, career path, your family or your home, we're identifying value system, a value system and building and creating off of that foundation.

Cartwright Morris: 39:43

Yeah. And it sounds like yells process, you really get to instill that because values become values, when we choose them when it's easy, and when it's hard. Like, you know, it's so I imagine that curated phase is really when you're like, hey, this is what you chose. This is what you said we're using your words here. Yeah,

Unknown: 40:05

absolutely. At 1,000% I mean, we can talk about like, people who say they want an artistic home like a home that they truly they value the arts, right well, it's okay well then we're not shopping for for artwork, that's, you know, just everyone shopping for one of a kind pieces, right? We're really thinking about where's the artists mindset and emotion when they're creating this piece? kind of environment? Are they in? What does that represent for you? Right? What does it represent for them? What's the story behind the art? Right? Because there's a whole set of you know, we're all human beings. We all have high intense emotions, and we all have a great level of energy. And it's blending and finding that level or finding that, that ground where they are all converging together, and they creates that space for you. Yeah, so it's the curation phase is unique because our team does the work. Right. And but, you know, anybody could do the work. And yeah, right. It's, do you have that foundation to build off of? Cause I said this, this and this, because I believe this, this and this. Now. This is the right decision. Yeah. So

Cartwright Morris: 41:23

yeah. So I mean, for my listeners, who could be just driving home from work right now, at the end of the day, and they got a few hours tonight, what's like, maybe one or two things they could do to really implement their values your home, and we're really just even just start organizing something that's more efficient. productive?

Unknown: 41:42

Yeah, I think it starts with like, as we talked about, it starts it starts with identifying what what do you want? What do you want from home? Right? Let's look at it and unpack it specifically about home. What do you actually want from your home? Right? Is this a dumping ground? Right? Is this a is this a place where you just dump all your stuff? Is this a place where you just collect all these things that you don't ever use or you don't ever showcase? You don't tell the story behind, right? Because everything that we acquire, we have some level of connection to right and we say clutter connects us like it just does. It doesn't matter what it is, right? You can the mechanic's shop, right? Got a lot of clutter, right? Clutter connects us, right? Or the the pantry that's overstuffed. Like it just connects us. And so when we're able to, when we're able to evaluate what we want from our homes, right? And thinking long term, like, how do we want to live here? What is like everyday life, like the ultimate take yourself on this journey of thinking about? Like, what does life look like without all of this stuff? Right? What do I want, if I was to just remove everything from my home? And that's not to say that we would do that, or you would do that. But if you were to have no strings attached, what would life look like every single day in that space. And it might be your office, right? Or it might be your living room. And then you start to you start to create a foundation for this is how life or how I hope life will unfold in here and how I want life to mold in here. Maybe, for instance, a great example is we don't watch a lot of TV. But we do make a point to watch, you know something together every night for 20 to 30 minutes, right. And so our family we sit down together at that time is really important to us. So ensuring that in a living room, we have a place where we can all feel like we can connect and be comfortable and enjoy that space together. That's really important to our value of connection. Right? Yeah, it's really, really important. So when you start to peel back the layers of of like home is not just this place where we just stuck a lot of stuff, and we sleep and we get up and we shower and we head out the door. But when we really start to think about what does home look like and mean to you. Now you can start to think about okay, How could our living room change? What would changing our living room look like? What would it feel like? Why would we want to do? Yeah, great. Well, it's a great place to start. And then obviously, we say we always say that organizing is the foundation to design. So if you're thinking about redesigning a space, whether it's like your kitchen or your bathroom or your bedroom or your living room, you thinking about what's what will be functional, right? Do we need storage? Maybe we don't need DVD storage anymore, because we're all streaming, right? It's like, but I know people who still have tons of DVDs and they don't watch on right. And so it's like maybe that space can be used for something different. Yeah. To maximize a different set of values, right? Yeah,

Cartwright Morris: 44:44

absolutely. Man, that's good. I'm like sitting here thinking Where do I have DVDs? You know, you're I mean, you grew up in the 90s. I mean, that was the thing like DVDs and VHS is all over the

Unknown: 44:59

place is trying.

Cartwright Morris: 45:03

I'm sure you got some of those old VHS is Reggie White and Randall Cunningham, right?

Unknown: 45:08

Hey, man, I'm not saying I don't want the NFL coming after me. But I was definitely a good I was definitely grabbing or hitting the record button on the VHS as a kid so I could watch Barry Sanders and watch the greats. Yeah, I just I just love to love to pour into that and that was really fun as a kid growing up.

Cartwright Morris: 45:27

Yeah, bet man. Well, John, appreciate you coming on. I'd love for you just to you know one. I'm gonna have a link in the bio for the gift that you're given my audience today. So I'd love for you explain a little bit more of that but also just where people connect with you.

Unknown: 45:42

Yeah, yeah. So. So two things. One, thanks for having me is awesome. I love the conversation. I think that the opportunity where home and life really converge specifically for for your audience, when you're starting to think about how your career path maybe is changing or has changed or is evolving, how your life is evolving. What that looks like, I think that we all feel this sense of I call it seasons of life. And that's one season, right? And being introspective is a great place to be. And that's what elegant simplicity does so so well, we just happened to do it in the envelope of home. So elegant simplicity. It's at elegant simplicity interiors on Instagram, at elegant si.com is our website. And then we've got a free four day video course, which is four days to a more beautiful and functional home. And that's really taking you through the very foundational aspects of how you go about creating both a beautiful and functional space. We want that transformation, but there's work that we have to do to get there. So,

Cartwright Morris: 46:53

man, that was great, John, I appreciate you coming on, man. It's been a blast talking with you.

Unknown: 46:57

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me.