137. How to Build Men into Leaders | Chris Grainger

Chris Grainger is the Founder of The Lion Within Us and has a passion for serving others. He is building a community that provides Christian men encouragement to become the leaders God intends them to be. Chris connects with others by sharing personal stories of professional success, hurdles encountered and how every circumstance is an opportunity to build the Kingdom.

He helps men stand firm in the faith by strengthening areas of Health (Mind/Body) Wealth (Careers/Finances) and Self (Husbands/Fathers/Brothers in Christ). At home Chris is married to his wonderful wife Rebekah and has 3 awesome daughters (Chloe 12, Ava 10 and Lily 16 months) and a son Judah who was born in November 2022! He enjoys working out, Harley’s, serving at church, coaching youth sports and anything that involves getting outside.

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Transcript

Cartwright Morris: 0:02

All right, welcome into the men are forged Podcast. I'm excited today to have Chris Granger on with the lion within us you can go to Lion within.us To find out more about Chris and what he's doing with helping Christian men become leaders. I mean, I just love that tagline within itself. And Chris is coming all the way from up the road, North Carolina. Chris is great to have you,

Unknown: 0:27

man. It's awesome to be here. Thank you so much.

Cartwright Morris: 0:29

Absolutely. Well, Chris, I want to start with this especially since man you have so much of your life and right now your work is around building men building Christian men and the leaders. And last November you had a son and so I'm like, do you feel the stakes are a little higher now though? All these principles you're instilling in a man now you got to you got your little man that's gotta grow into one so love to hear just your you know what you felt with having your son and and yeah, what you feel and a nother level the calling up

Unknown: 1:07

a man, that guy has a sense of humor, I can tell you that because I've been I spent my entire life here for the last 12 years at least talking all these guys about being a girl dad and and I even went into the last ultrasound. So I got three three other daughters actually had four. We talked about that a little bit. But so I had all these girls. And I went to the last ultrasound and I told us the little lady who does ultrasound before she put that one down. I say going through my pain, man. Like I'm ready for it. Like just give me a thing, man. I gotta know the outcome. I don't even need to be here like this is I've been here done this, you know, got the t shirt type of thing. And so she was waving that little one. And she was like, so you said you coach softball, right? Like, yeah, I think Coach softball for my girl. She's like, Well, you better trade that in for a baseball. I'm like, oh. So at that moment, man, my mom she's got all she has his granddaughters my brother's got three girls. I said I've had four girls. And she broke down when she found out we're having a boy. So it shifted my whole thinking in this first six months old now. But it's pretty awesome to have have another guy around the house looking forward to getting into all sorts of shenanigans with him as much as my wife will allow. And but it's been it's definitely a different outlook is I mean, that's there's nothing like being a girl dad, man. But holding my son in my arms was was was pretty incredible.

Cartwright Morris: 2:31

Man. That's great. That's so cool. And Well, Chris, I you know, so if we could back up because I love just hearing just, there's so much of a, you know, I believe we're all on this redemptive journey. You know, I think we have the core belief that Christ redeems all things. There's something in understanding that story. So speaking of fatherhood, how would you describe your relationship with your dad growing up?

Unknown: 2:58

Yeah, I mean, it was awesome man, my dad, he's, he's still my hero, right? And he's, like, we never grew up going to church or anything like that. But he was just, he was always there, man. He was my coach. For baseball, he was always there. Right. And for willows, and doing work in the yard, whatever, we whatever he did. Me and my brother were with him, you know? Yeah, he was he was a very involved dad. And it wasn't ever it never felt forced man. It was always he wanted to be there. You know, he, I saw him take the chewings from parents at the ball field because they didn't like how he was coaching the team. And he did that all volunteer for a volunteer basis, just because he had a heart for for, for teaching and for for being there for me and my brother and for teaching other young men. So it's just been always cool. And then we got into motorcycles as I got older. 1516 We started riding motorcycles together. And you know, that got him back into motorcycles. And that's what my mom, she she'll never forgive me because she got them out of motorcycles, man, she had, she got them out of them. He had sold all his bikes. And then when I turned 15, I wanted to start riding motorcycles. And then once I got a bike, my dad was like, well, he needs to be able to ride with somebody. So that could have just opened up the floodgates. And we've been riding Harley's together ever since, man. But it's been, you know, it's been, it's been great. It's, it's always been there. And I still know wake up every day with the privilege to be able to open my phone up and hit that number that says, Daddy, and I know there's a lot of guys that can't do that man. So I just, I'm just blessed to be able to still call him and get his advice and things like that.

Cartwright Morris: 4:34

Man, that's great. That's, I mean, there is such a beautiful thing when your dad kind of moves in the advisor role. You know, it goes from you to parent to that advisor even friend role, which I think is so unique and like you said, and a lot of guys don't have that. Yeah.

Unknown: 4:53

I don't remember that transition rather. Well. I mean, I came home from like, my first year of college. We were out on the Dec. And he was like, Hey, you want to cigar? I was like, Oh, yeah. Okay. So we lit up a cigar and we're just talking and it just like from that moment on, it was just like it was, he was still my dad, like, I still respect him honor your mother and your father like that the way the Bible teaches, but it was just a different connection. And then when I had my first girl, I remember man, three months into after having my oldest daughter, I took him into a room just me and my dad, I said, I don't know who you are, or what you deal with my dad. But I expect you to return him immediately because I he flipped like because when they turn into granddad's man, everything changes, like, so I was like, it was hilarious to watch him around around her and these little girls, but but he I mean, it's been cool to see the different stages and how everything works.

Cartwright Morris: 5:48

Yeah, that's great. So you mentioned like you didn't grow going to church was so would you you didn't grow up in a Christian home is that? Well,

Unknown: 5:57

you know, I grew up in the South man. And so you know, how to everybody, you know, you know who Jesus is, you know, who God is, you know, just like, you know, you know that you like NASCAR, and you like baseball, I mean, it's just the way it is, right? So, you know, my family, they definitely have Christian values. And then they are believers. They just never took they've never really engaged in a church. They were they get actually church heard a lot of times, you know, as kids and things like that. So they would teach us things, you know, that were definitely Christian values, but it's just something we didn't do. We just didn't go to church, we would go to VBS, and things like that. But I started going to church, you know, when I was like, 1516, because my group, my high school girlfriend was going to church. So I wanted to go spend time with her. So chasing her into the church and then getting called by Jesus, right. But it's the I mean, our household definitely, there were a lot of Christian values to definitely this. I think he my dad, my mom walked stuff out a whole lot more than versus the actual church experience. But I still, that's a wish, you know, I kind of really want him still to get plugged into a local body. But it's one of those things, man, just, you know, God's timing or some of this stuff.

Cartwright Morris: 7:07

Absolutely. And there's something too. Yeah. I mean, I would say, despite what some people may say, it's it. Those values have been imprinted in our culture. Yeah. And in like, just literally people even just not even wreck. I mean, it's almost like, I think it was that in Romans one. They didn't even recognize him as God, His invisible attributes of just like, mean, they're completely evident. And that's fascinating that you felt like that was still instilled in your home, despite without the act of going, which is like, Man, I would say that beats, you know, the, the the the following a religion idea, but versus like, right. But, uh, yeah, so what I would say, Yeah, wearing your background, did you really start when you really met Jesus, and it started really affecting your life you started seeing it really play out in? Yeah. As a young man.

Unknown: 8:06

Yeah, I mean, for me in place, I got saved when I was around 16. And then there was a real small Southern Baptist Church, their youth group was all one group and what they weren't break, they wasn't big enough to break out into different ages. You know, it was all who you are, if you're below 18, you're with you're in the same Sunday school class. But I mean, it was just that little church, I just felt to toe, you know, and surrender my life to him right there. And that church got baptized, did was very active in that. And then, after high school, though, I went to college at Old Dominion in Norfolk, Virginia. And from there, man, I didn't have anyone connecting with me to, or discipling me to guide me directly. And in that church to that there just weren't any men there, really, that were, you know, talking to me at all, um, that was with the youth that wasn't with men, you know, just it was just a big disconnect. So, for my 20s, man, I did what I wanted to do, and I live my my life, the way that most of the world is, by what pleases me what makes me happy and not and it wasn't worried about anybody else other than the three words, I got this almost as I got this, I didn't worry about it, you know. And that was just a way that that and I knew and I could feel God so many times pulling me like, this is not what I want. This is not what I got for you, man. I just kept I just kept turning my back to him and just kept turning my back. And that led down some paths that I wish it hadn't led down. But ultimately, you know, I learned a lot of lessons through those.

Cartwright Morris: 9:41

Yeah. So after college, you went into business, right? What was your initial job right at a college?

Unknown: 9:49

Yeah, I was a co op engineers. I was an engineer, engineer, Co Op engineer for distributor. So I interned with them. My last two years of college and then I went straight to work for him. I actually still work there, as I'm coming up on 20 years with them. They just it's been a good company, a lot of different things. I've gone from engineering to sales to business development to operations. So I've done a lot of different things, but the company to now have more of a marketing type role, podcasting, and writing and stuff like that. So it's been, it's been a good experience, you've been able to kind of live that, that the life of it is made, or how it's made, rather than a TV show how it's made, that's literally been offered to plants and industry all over Southeast. So that's really, you know, the, from Africa college, I've just been with that company. And we've got a lot of different exposures to different areas from an industrial standpoint.

Cartwright Morris: 10:43

Gotcha. Hmm. So you've been in that role for 20 years you've been and then doing the line within us on the side? That's interesting.

Unknown: 10:51

Yeah. started that in 2021, is when we started the line with tennis. And that's been a passion. And I see this is full time, it's getting to that point here. prayerfully this year, well, this will be a full time. But you know, when you get 10 eyeballs staring back at you, you have to do things to right, we can't just be knee jerk, you have to be a little slower. But, but that's okay. Everything God's timing is perfect. He's just never early. So I just have to keep telling myself that.

Cartwright Morris: 11:18

Yeah. But I could see, it sounds like you know, when you're at college and not experiencing that community, or even brotherhood of men challenging you, that's kind of been a little seed of really what you're creating. Now, what were some of the other things that really started happening in your life in your 20s and 30s are realizing like, man, as men, we need to call each other higher, I need to we need to surround ourselves with other women,

Unknown: 11:44

probably the first event would be when my ex wife left. So we had a three and a five year old little girl, a little girls rather. And all of a sudden, she wanted out. And so I'm standing in the house with a three and a five year old looking at me, my five year old looked at me says Daddy, will we do now. And I told her, I said, we got this, we'll figure this out. And I was I was pretty involved with the church back then too, because once we moved to North Carolina, I kind of got reengaged with the church, which was the best thing that ever happened. So just I leaned on the church, and I had a lot of guys there, too, within the church, and even in my neighborhood that were really there for me. During that time, literally, during that trial, who had to go through custody trial and all that stuff. And we came to through the other end of that average, just remember sitting in that courtroom brother, where they were getting ready to read the verdict. And I had James open the book of James open, I mean, tears just pulling out like, Okay, Lord, you know, there's nothing else I can do. You know, I've been on the stand, I've done my testimony, we've been through this trial, all the things that people come up, and then you get down to where you have to hear the verdict, the judge has been is laying it out. And when he finally said, basically, you know, these girls are better suited with the Father, and, you know, he started working through the visitation that the mother would, would get. I mean, you just, you just lose it, you know, I just lost it, you know, mentally physically drained through that. And then the importance of I just recognize, through that whole trial, the importance of surround yourself with strong Christian men, that can be there that can speak true to you. Because I didn't need to make any more mistakes again, particularly around relationships. Yeah, I needed to be definitely a little bit more intentional about where I was putting myself that people are associating myself with and the steps I was taking in the future. So that and prayerfully that led me to meeting my wife now who actually my dad introduced me to her so it's all my dad's it went full circle on that, man. So So yeah, it's just it's it really was that was a season and a trial my life that that man, it's taught me a whole lot. I've been able to help a lot of older guys go through.

Cartwright Morris: 14:02

Yeah, that's great. And there's something too, you just said that, I think is men. It's there's a heart. You know, something like that discussion I've had with actually, my Sunday school class was interesting. It's really it's like men generally look for women that make them feel good or make them look good. And they don't go be beyond that. Right. And there's something powerful. I mean, I would say this was something that me and my wife were really intentional in our dating was like, We need confirmation from the people around us. We need to see the other person in their space because you see the real person around they're real people. You know, and I mean, yeah, just for the young men out there that are searching or even with their potential spouse. Right. How would you Yeah, how would you advise them and being in community and wanting a healthy, strong marriage.

Unknown: 15:03

I think first of all, you got to stop trying to chase tell the wrong girls. Yeah. And Bro, that's where I was. And then you know, and also quick start trying to be the man that the future whatever your last name is Mrs. Insert your last name that that she's looking for, like because you can't control the girl but you can control you. Yeah, if you're putting out the best version of you each and every day, bro, I'm just telling you it makes a difference. And I mean, I can just walk through that, like my testimony with my wife now. I mean, when I saw her obviously there was immediate attraction. I thought she was hot. But then I met her, I found that she was only right and she was humble, she was hard working. And there's a four H's right there you need to look for in a girl right? And the hot is a very last one you need to worry about guys. Like that's a different one. So we too must focus on the looks. But man for her, it was just a natural pursuit. And like her testimony, I want to see how she was with her family. I want to see how she was with others. And the same thing she was she was seeing what seeing that for me. And and the first question she asked me on our date was, hey, can you give me your testimony and just being finding a woman who actually is one thing to talk about? I'm I'm a proverbs 31 woman, you know, there's no thing to actually walk it out. Right looking for one that actually is walking this stuff out. So I mean, I just I would just tell you guys, if you're not seeing those virtues, you need to be careful, because it's not gonna get better when you get married. Very rarely as that stuff changed. But I can tell you one thing like for her, her values, she stuck to him. I'll be open honest, because I've been open honest on other shows too. Like, for our dating was a true courtship. There was no sex, there was no sleeping together, there was no over spending a night. If I did spend the night at her, she was living her parents. Like I would literally sleep on the couch. You know, if we, I think we went on one or two trips together. While we were dating, her mom went with this athlete we do you have to put boundaries up because at some point, when you get two people together that have the natural attraction, your biology is gonna outrun your theology. So you can't just be doing this stuff man like great way to say it. Yeah, bro. I'm telling you got to put these boundaries up. But I was also had two little girls that were watching this journey, right? Part of this journey all the way from when we introduced Rebecca to them to the town we we said I do. And I was very open with them. They were so young, oh man, like six, seven years old eight, nine for the oldest to seen. Okay, here's how you supposed to treat a woman. Here's a woman who values herself. And here's what this looks like, from a courtship standpoint all the way up to the aisle. So I mean, and I'd say these guys are talking about when you got test drive a car for you drive and I'm like, Man, y'all complete in this department? Are you missing? Like if if you feel like that's that's the biggest thing in your life, like what in the world you are completely get things so far backwards. Because I'll just be straight up. There has been nothing more incredible than that the the connection, the intimacy that I've had with my wife now, and I fully 100% believe it's only because we have done things his way. Now we have gone through some outright sucky trials. And we can talk about those if you want. But from a connection from an intimacy standpoint, I have never experienced anything like this before. And I can I give all the glory to God. And it's just and I tell her all the time, like girl that she's putting, you know, we've had a couple of babies, you know, things happen when when you have babies, and you just women, they sometimes they put on more weight, and I tell her all the time, like, Look, you are my definition of beauty. You're it. So don't worry about what the world says how you looking at to peace or anything like that. I'm telling you your definition of beauty for me. And that's it now. And I had to speak that to her over and over and over because as a woman, they're hearing all this negative stuff all the time. And yeah, we're going to where you want to go here with this.

Cartwright Morris: 19:37

I mean, you just hit on something big, Chris, that I think they're really I mean, I think that started in the garden of Adam taking a back seat, his voice being led by God, he pushed that aside to appease the woman. Right? You know, it you know, you know, the man who was with her like he was standing there the whole time watching us not saying a word not bringing the Word of God into the situation not bringing what God had said in here, I just thought that what you said was a great example of we get to be that messenger we get to bring disruption and declare the identity that God speaks over our wives and our kids and our communities. And yeah, I would just love you to just speak to how Yeah, why men what why why is that so important for us? Just not only and we think of that in on stage, but also like, especially in our homes.

Unknown: 20:33

Yeah. Guys forget the power that we have in our tongue in the words that we say there. There's no one in your house, period, this has the impact that you guys have. And you have been handpicked by God to lead your family. So if you may think, you know, I'm a terrible leader. No, that's, that's straight from Satan. But the words we speak and how we speak them, they matter so much. So you don't either build your relationship up and build your marriage up and constantly working on it. Because there's no such thing as a perfect marriage. If you believe it, then you're you're completely are delusional, I'm sorry, I'll be praying for you. But if you're worried you're married, you're going to have to be working on it all the time, maintenance and doing the right things, and speaking these things to her speaking affirmations to her, letting her know the positive things that you see in her right, not just the physical, but that everything you know, have to always be finding ways to build up. And just remember how quickly we can tear him down. And then that goes for our kids to man. Like I see it all the time at the ball field, bro. Like, I'm because I'm a softball coach, too. And it's like, I see so many parents, and all they do is just correct them. Correct? Correct? Correct. Correct. Correct. And like this is all the error here is like, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. And for my girls, ask them all the time. Look, I want you to have fun, obviously, I want you to do the best you can. But most importantly, show the fruit of spirit on the field, whatever it is show some kindness. So gentleness, show some self control when that umpire makes a call that a blind man could see right? All these things. But that's ultimately what we need to do. And that's really what I'm pushing with them. So if they go three, for three, or over three, we still had the same conversation on the way home. We talked about, you know, how do we show Jesus? What does that look like? How can we or our teammates be a better example of Christ? And I mean, those types of things when you're talking about little girls too, and building them up and wives, brother, we have so much power as men, and we just don't harness it, or we already diminish it. Or we think you know what, you know the words, I just tell them that they should do it. I know, bro, you got to tell them then you got to walk it out to it's more it's constant. All right, so you got it to teach. But then you also have to start walking that stuff out. Because it'd be no good for me to hammer on why it's important to eat your vegetables and have a good healthy diet. And then there's just sitting around eating Cheetos and Hershey bars, man, that doesn't make any sense. Like they wouldn't. They don't they don't get that. So I think as as Christian men, delete our homes, your words matter. And then your actions better backup those words. Yeah, absolutely.

Cartwright Morris: 23:11

So I mean, I think it's kind of leading to me to your the community you're creating with men. And because I think a lot of men maybe didn't have obviously didn't have a relationship like you have with your dad. And in our stock. I can't, I'm trying to remember who I was talking to. But an author and someone who helps men deal with pornography addiction and sexual addiction stuff that he kind of talks about the training of men's eyes, but there's this other piece of kind of an emotional peace of, of when men experience hardship, resistance difficulty that they're most prone to look at pornography, because there's some deep hole within them that they didn't hear from their own fathers of you're good enough. Right? You're capable, like, and so I was just curious, just that voice. I would love to hear just how are you seeing that in your community groups? And how Yeah, how can men we address that hole of really desiring an older man to speak life into us? And you know, where can we find that?

Unknown: 24:18

Yeah, I mean, I see that all the time. And I mean, our community guys openly talk about their addiction to porn, you know, we and we don't have behind it, you know, if you're, if you have that going on your life, we need to know about it, because the only way we can get any, any resolution to this, is you got to expose it to the light. So I actually have one or two guys right now who, um, their accountability partner. And when they look at porn, they actually text me. I'm okay. And I'm gonna be there for right and we're gonna talk about it. But I've learned through our show and the resources that build things like that. It's not when you know, there were targeted so much these days for for that type of material, particularly Christian man. I mean, it's rampant in the church. The last stats I looked at was like an 87% range man, like guys that look at that stuff that go to church. I mean, it's pretty high, that that's out there. But the core root of why we look at this stuff is very little tied to sexuality usually is tied to some stress factor. Finances, or your marriage is going bad or things aren't going good at work, or you're overweight or you're just not doing you're not checking the boxes the way that you would hope. And this is how you feel like you have a little bit of control in your life is when you're looking at that and you have those images and you just feel like you can control that moment. And then it's like a dopamine hit. You get it and you need that hit again to to get picked back up. So sooner than I try to help guys connect and realize, look, you did this not because you know, this is a sexually driven thing, it's because my friend, one that I'm coaching right now, you know, he's going through college and things like that, who's in finals and he had a lot of stress from his schoolwork is like, this is how you respond it, like in the world is gonna tell you that this is okay. And so I'm trying to help people re kind of re centered on what that actually the damage that is doing to us, and how we we need to recognize that for what it is and how, as a as a man who has who, for me, and we have all older men as well, American unity, you got to expose that stuff to light and let guys like us come and speak some truth to you to help you not beat you down. But build you up, you know, build you up and help you see you know what? There's so much better way than then going down that path?

Cartwright Morris: 26:32

Yeah, absolutely, man. Gosh, yeah, there is something to that we just want feel some level of success or like you said, some control something we can control and know the outcome.

Unknown: 26:44

Yeah, no, no. Look at that stuff, man now have a beautiful wife sleeping in their bed. And there'll be in the bathroom looking at this stuff, man. It's just like, bro, like, you're 10 feet away from real connection, real intimacy. i What are you doing? It's just me, Tony, we this is this is why this is a couple billion dollar market that's out there. I mean, this we're being targeted, our kids are being targeted. And we have to be openly talking about I mean, I'm my oldest girls 12. And I'm talking to her about pornography about because she's gonna see it, it's gonna happen, there's nothing I'm gonna be able to do to protect her. So one day where she's going to be exposed to it. I know that I was trying to got to teach her up now to recognize the value of her body of who she is as a daughter to King so that when she sees that stuff, she'll be able to respond correctly, and recognize it for what it is. And this absolute darkness.

Cartwright Morris: 27:36

Yeah. Gosh, man, that's nuts. It's just it really is like, like you said, I mean, I think it's just ramped up in this day and age. And it's and it's unfortunately, it's been normalized, and totally, you know, having an in being devalue and even demonized to not look at, right, just like,

Unknown: 27:57

oh, yeah, I mean, now, it's like, you know, what do you mean, I'll look at Pornhub or something like that, like, well, I don't look at porn, I'm like, I actually have something called a life. And I actually have something called a marriage that I want to, to value, you know, what the world is gonna say, we will, you know, it's okay to look at it. And I will say, you know, what the world is broken divorce. Like, I don't want to do the way the world does, you know, I want to do things weird. I want to do things with Jesus. And Jesus is not going to be you know, pursuing that I guarantee it. So let's let's have let's focus on that sexual purity and get these these immoral things out of our way out of our way. Because then we can have the clarity to do what he's called us to do, man, so it's just, it's really sad to see what's out there. I mean, think about I don't know about for you, but for me growing up pornography was like trying to find a Playboy magazine or something. You know, now, like, bro, I mean, if you had a kid and unlock iphone, nowadays, you might as well just hand them on unlock Glock, fully loaded. It's the same thing. It's the same danger. We don't think of it that way. You know, we because like you said, we've normalized it and I don't have to normalize anything. You know, I won't. He said, I'm okay with being weird. Because I won't have family as functioning together being weird if that's what it takes. We're just gonna be the weird family on the block, man. Yeah.

Cartwright Morris: 29:11

But there's something I mean, I hate to hit her. Because there's other stuff I want to hit on with you Chris. But yeah, I'm really it's interesting because I've had a handful conversations where men think it is sexual. Even wives think it is sexual. And it's like it's not it there's two different things of you haven't sex your wife and you look into pornography, it's two different things.

Unknown: 29:31

Completely different broke completely different. And that's the hard thing to get guys to see. Like, no, man, you looked at that stuff. And you and you did that because you know, your valuation at work didn't go the way that you want it. Or you got some bills coming up that you just don't know if you how are you gonna cover it? You know, I mean, I'm telling you, it's always related back to something outside of sex, you know, and usually and then that starts impacting your sex life with your spouse. I mean, I've heard I've heard and read stories. Well, there's people in other countries right now. I think it was China or somewhere like these guys that are so addicted to it. They actually have to look at it on their phone while they're having sex with their spouse just to stay aroused. And I'll send you're like, Bro Do you think that you don't recognize the problem here? I guess they keyless you know like, it's just so far from what God created man. And again, marriage one man one woman for life. That's the way he designed it. And there's something beautiful about it because me my wife when she was younger, she and we've talked over and she's talked about this openly too. Like I was the first man she was ever with. By she was able to hand me a precious gift and I have treated that gift. Like he did well like it like it should be and I'm sure You have a reference. And there's a connection there. Nobody taught her anything. But we shouldn't have to look into this stuff, man. Like God designed it, he didn't have to detail and eat how this stuff work. But he designed it. And we just feel like we have to fill these voids with so much of this empty dark stuff. And until we, as Christian man start standing up and stopping this stuff out, and really taking the stance, man, it's gonna be an uphill battle. And we got here some more stuff in churches, too. Like, we don't ever want to talk about this stuff in church. We don't want to talk about pornography, or things like that man, like, we feel like it's up to us. It's taboo. Like, we got to be quiet. And I'm sitting here saying, like, No, we gotta talk about this stuff. Because if we don't, more and more marriages, you're gonna fall into more and more marriages and fall, the more to even want to smile, and I'm tired of that dude, smile, and I want to I want to make him mad. And oh, I know, to make him mad and start standing with the truth, man.

Cartwright Morris: 31:31

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, so I love just to dive more on your story, and even just the origins of the line within us. community and how what you're building? Yeah, so I mean, this is kind of I mean, you kind of hit on just then and I'm, I'm like, you know, I don't want to speak ill of the church. You know, I don't want to feel it as platform but in some ways, or do you feel like you're there is a? I mean, it's something I've wrestled with is how much are we? Are we doing something that we feel like the church should be doing? Or we feel like we're just adding to the church and adding value? And so wherever you were, did you did you see holes in the church? Do you feel like this was a need? And, and at what point in your life did you see the need and really felt like God called you into, you know, filling that need?

Unknown: 32:17

Well, so far seen Anita? I mean, I think for me, that's been fairly recent. But looking back, it was always there. You know, I think churches are highly feminized. I think the reason they have is because men have stepped out and women had stepped up. So I'm not blaming women. I'm blaming the guys, we got to start getting there. And it's a lot of it starts at the pulpit. And also say, like the line within us, we're not a church man. Like, we're not a church. We are a supplement, though. Because I think most churches, men's ministries absolutely suck at this things are bad. And most of them get together on a Saturday morning, or Sunday morning, they'll have a sausage biscuit, they'll have some ex football players, they used to do drugs, he got cleaned up. And he talks about how he did that. And then we'll break we'll say a prayer, and we'll do it in a month, a month later, we'll do the same thing. And I'm saying you're like, No, that is not Men's Ministry, like men connect side by side, shoulder to shoulder sweating, usually doing something trying to to actually achieve something. And let's talk about the heart things. Let's talk about the things that guys actually want to engage with. Don't just sit there and lecture Adam, actually engage them in conversation that makes them think that makes them get, you know, get their hands dirty. That's what the line within us is all about. That's how I'm trying to help guys. So we will talk about stuff, you know, around health, wealth and self. That's our three primary topics. But we dig deep. I mean, we're gonna drop the plow man, we're not just cutting the grass, we're trying to tear up the dirt right and get into Word and and see how we can take this, this book right here that scares so many people to death? And how can we simplify and apply it to our life, to be to take care of our bodies better to take care of our minds better to be better financial stewards? And let's start there? Because I mean, I'm tell you what, outside of pornography, the number one driver for marriage for marriage divorces is finances. So we are terrible at finances. So we get so what's the Bible say? There's a lot to learn there. And then how can we better husbands? How can we better dads? Not just what is Chris say, what does the word say? And then we start applying that. So that's really when I saw the need. None of our stuff going on in our church, in particular church that I visited was really addressing any of this. And I found something interesting. All right, where it's, it's when we get guys together, now we're all over country we have we have member in South Africa, we have members in Canada. And when they get together, because of I don't know if it's the discretion or just the way that it's set up. Because all of our events are virtual, we have some live events or ones coming in October, but right now everything is set up on a virtual platform. I feel like the guys come in immediately more transparent, immediately more willing to share. They're willing to listen they're willing to to actually just be open and vulnerable man. Like I mean, guys, right out the gate will start talking about the issues with their with their marriage or issues with their kids, and they're looking for help. They're looking for counsel, in the common red thread that keeps coming up over and over and over is they're just looking for community. They're just looking for some guys that they can be real with. They're tired of the Yes, man. They're tired of the guys that are just showing up and saying, you know, hey, I'm blessed and highly favored who feel like they always got it together. They will some real vulnerable, actual connection. And that's what we're trying to create. And I feel like you can't even like manufactured that It either is or isn't. And prayerfully God's had his hand on it, and it's there. And we give these give these guys an opportunity to actually show up and pin and learn and grow. Row, we had our first marriage that was saved within the community. He joined in November, the wife had served divorce papers. He asked her for an opportunity told him that he was joining this community. And two weeks ago, he sent me a message and she's actually showed up to one of our events his wife did. And she, she tore up the divorce papers. So it's it's like, basic medical stuff. It's nothing I'm doing is it's just getting gassed focus man focused on what the Word says. And then walking in and out. And that's really what we're building, how we're trying to grow and how we're trying to serve others.

Cartwright Morris: 36:17

Man, that's great. Yeah, I, I am kind of just interested to hear more like, because I think this is what's unique. And I think a lot of young guys miss, especially did this have, you go through a hard time or you go through a seizure your life like a career choice, and you're like, God, I feel like that was a wasted time. Right? Now I get a point in my life. I'm like, oh, no, God was using that I now use that in my life. So how, you know what, what was kind of in the business world? And maybe in other areas? Do you feel like God was preparing you to start this community?

Unknown: 36:51

All for sure. Well, 100% Well, all the roles I've had, ever since I was 14, or 15 have always been leadership roles. And I've been a manager, that service station, I mean, all the way through mechanic leading leading mechanics. Then when I came on the East Coast has been manager role after manager role after manager role. So I've always been in a position of leadership's and that's taught me so many different things. But then, I think 20, let's see, in the 2019, beginning of 2020, I started the podcast format for my other company. And I went to them, I said, I had an idea for podcasts, they looked at me, like I had three heads. And I just asked for a little bit of seed money to get started. And now we have 250 episodes out for that show. And we've connected so many areas of our business to the to the podcasts, it's been a blessing for that, for that, for that business. And that was opportunities. Looking back now of growth, of learning, of learning how to do this learning, how do you set up a podcast? How do you actually do it to so when we started Elian, it wasn't like a blank sheet of paper, you know, I was able to actually take a lot of those lessons learned and apply it for him. Now the community thing has been a blank sheet of paper. So that was something that I had been learning kind of like the fly the airplane while you're in the middle of the air. But I've been able to be blessed to be around other people who have done it, and have shown me some things I'm learning things, I may have had to make some investments in myself my learning standpoint. But also listen to what other people say. So when the guys come in, I listen to the community very close. And we build things and we build things to serve them, we build things to help them. And I just think the more and more we do that I have seen the impact that it's had. And I just don't know, because we're small enough to be agile. But we also have enough, I guess, experience or resources to we're not just putting junk out, man, we're really putting good stuff out this able to help these guys. And then we have our first dad workshop starting here next week, and actually we have business meeting once a month. We have our Ask Me Anything events where we have guests come in and they can actually the community gets to interview the guests. It's been pretty cool to see how that works. Oh, wow. Yeah, we have a couple's night. And we do we have two masterminds that are growing right now, these things are awesome. So we just have these different resources, like a book club, I mean, an every day in the community, the way we built this, I do what's called a daily spiritual kickoff. So what I do is I unpack a little bit of Scripture every morning, I go live in our community. And it's not on Facebook, or YouTube or anything like that. It's whether it's all platform, it has its own app. And these guys, they're with me every morning. And it ranges, you know, who shows up. But basically, I read scripture, and I talk about what the Spirit tells me, or how I need to apply this to my life. And body. That has been the most positive feedback that I've heard from these guys, because part of it is I'm making their time in the word every day, a little bit easier with some guidance. I mean, they have to get into where they need to do the reading. But this is just another supplement. So I mean, we do stuff like that to try to help people. Every Wednesday we do lion lunch, so we'd have a lion lunch on every Wednesday, that's where guys just show up their lunch and we just break bread and talk whatever they want to talk about. So it's, it's giving them opportunities to engage in different ways that, you know, guys are not just naturally gonna usually reach out and check on each other. But if you get an event to come to or a reason to show up, and they're showing up and they're there, they're actually contributing, they're engaging, and I just keep praying that the Lord is blessing it like that, because there's there's so much value there.

Cartwright Morris: 40:30

Yeah. And so for my listeners who are interested is it I mean, is it like basically a one month like a monthly fee and you get all of this? Is that how It

Unknown: 40:41

works. Okay. Yeah. So we have two different options, we have a spiritual kickoff only, so where you can come in and be part of spiritual kickoffs every, that's Monday through Friday, every morning, I go live. And then if you can't make the last we post the recording, so they're still out there. So that's $5 a month for for guys that want to do this, we have guys that do that. They get they still get into community, they get to they get to chat, but they don't get anything else, you should get just a spiritual kickoffs. And then we have our full blown community. And that's everything that I just listed all the events, all that all the activities, we do a 30 day free trial to let guys experience it, see what it's all about. Because I don't want anybody having to put any commitment in upfront, you know, if there's something that doesn't serve them, so we offer that 30 day, basically come check it out for free, see if you like it. And then from there, it's $49 a month, and we got guys in there that are you know, every month showing up. And you know, you hear why that's a lot of money. Well, is it really though? Because I mean, if we start thinking about all the subscriptions and stuff that's out there, how much are you investing in yourself to grow spiritually, and this is a great way to do that. And we have guys that just they they pay annual or they pay monthly. But either way, it's whatever works for them with their budgets. And for us, it's been just a great way to connect other guys. Because if you're putting some skin in the game, you know, you have you have like minded brothers in Christ that are there. It's just incredible to see how they're growing and how they're serving each other.

Cartwright Morris: 42:09

Yeah, man, that's great, Chris, thank you for coming on and sharing your story and sharing more about what you're doing. Where I mean, you've already hit on a lot. But yeah, I would love just to like what's the best place for people to find you and find out more about the lion within us community?

Unknown: 42:26

Yeah, I mean, easiest way is to go to the website, the lions, don't forget the th e. V line within.us as our website or just an email me, I mean, I'm pretty open. So Chris, at the lion within.us, you can email me directly. I do a lot of times where I'll just pop on Zoom meetings with guys and show them what the community looks like. So if you kind of got a feel like, what is this community thing he's talking about, like, you know, just send me an email Chris at the line with dan.us I'll jump on a quick zoom with you. I'm not pitching you, all I'm gonna do is show it to you. And then you can actually explore on your own if you want to join or not. But in that there's sometimes that's an easy way to just see it because it's to see what it's about. Because it is its own app. It's its own website. So it's, it's completely the cool part about that is the guys don't get distracted. So they're not on Facebook, and they get another Facebook Messenger or something like that, when they're within the lion, they are there for reason. And like you can sync it all to your calendar. So everything aligns very well to make a very great customer user experience. And it's just it helps these guests stay connected to the stuff that's important to them so and it has all the features that you would think you know, the chatting the posting all that fun stuff is kind of like a Facebook, but it's without any of the jump you know, so it's it's pretty neat how it works.

Cartwright Morris: 43:46

Yeah, that's great. And also I Yeah, recommend y'all checking out Chris's podcast the the line within his podcast. So, man. Well, Chris, I appreciate you coming on. It's been a blast having you on I really enjoyed this discussion and just hearing some of the wisdom that you've you've gained over the years.

Unknown: 44:03

Hey, Cartwright. Thank you so much for this opportunity, man. I hope you and your listeners were blessed and would love to serve any way I can in future.

Cartwright Morris: 44:11

Absolutely.