MONDAY Q&A | Navigating Life's Challenges with Faith

In the First Q&A session, Bo and Cartwright tackle pressing questions from young professional men about balancing life, faith, leadership, and anxiety. They emphasize the importance of prioritizing faith in daily life, the necessity of self-awareness in leadership, and the challenges of managing anxiety. The conversation also explores effective ways to share one's faith with others, highlighting the significance of personal stories over theological debates. Throughout the discussion, the hosts encourage listeners to seek support and not navigate their struggles alone.

Questions asked...

1. How can us as young adults live a balanced life that meets the goals and demands we have, while also prioritizing our faith above everything else?

2. What does leadership shaped by Christ look like in the workplace as a younger person? 

3. Does most anxiety come from inability to release control of things out of our control? 

4. Tips from bringing friends/others to Christ 

Takeaways

Prioritizing faith involves aligning your daily actions with your relationship with Jesus.
Living a balanced life requires defining your goals and understanding your limitations.
Self-awareness is crucial for effective leadership and personal growth.
Anxiety often stems from the desire to control outcomes that are beyond our control.
Sharing your faith is more about your personal story than theological arguments.
Building trust with others is essential before sharing your beliefs.
It's important to invite Jesus into your decision-making process.
Saying no to commitments can be a powerful act of self-care.
Engaging in open conversations about anxiety can lead to clarity and understanding.
Don't navigate life's challenges alone; seek support from others.

Keywords

faith, balance, leadership, anxiety, sharing faith, self-awareness, life challenges, Christian life, personal growth, Q&A

 sound bites

"Don't do it alone."
"What is anxiety telling you?"
"You can't control everything."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Q&A Session
02:42 Balancing Life and Faith
17:35 Leadership and Ego in the Workplace
30:26 Understanding Anxiety and Control
35:40 The Role of Communication in Relationships
41:12 Navigating Anxiety in Marriage
48:19 Sharing Faith with Friends and Coworkers

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Transcript

Excited today to get our first Q and a session in, right? This is a cause we want to be answering the questions that you're asking. If this is this podcast is about the forging of men in their twenties and thirties, I want to be answering. And so, uh, we had to reach out to a few individuals, but there is a link in the description for anybody to send in a question. Yeah. Please send in your questions. Um, and the guys that sent them in.

far deeply troubled people. So it's funny they put their names we won't say their names but it is funny that they put their names no shame. shame. Yeah man hey we're all trying to figure it out here. We're all trying to figure it out. I do want to thank our listeners here Bo because man I was thinking about the other day I was like you know time is scarce these days and I was looking at my cute my little cue of all the

Podcasts I'm listening to right now and I'm behind man. and so I mean I had about four or five I'm in there episodes I want to listen to my podcast and so if you're choosing us to be one of those podcasts in your queue Appreciate it. Thank you for the listen you know try not to ask too much more, but you know, I was a follower subscriber like or review always helps so but we do appreciate it and Anyway, so let's get the queue at first Q &A session

started. So this one is kind of a long one. I'll read through it and then maybe we can kind of break it down as we go. So this is from somebody who's in the age range of 26 to 35, so right in our sweet spot. They're in finance and it's kind of a comment and then question. So comment, I think one of the biggest challenges for people our age is the pace of life that our age group is in.

Cartwright Morris (03:11.265)
We're often working hard trying to provide for family, spend time with your wife and kids, exercise, go to church, go to Bible study, and the list goes on and on. There are constantly people asking you to join a nonprofit, volunteer to do something, et cetera. So here's a question.

How can we as young adults live a balanced life that meets the goals and demands we have while also prioritizing our faith above everything else? So again, the question is, how can we as young adults live a balanced life that meets the goals and demands that we have while also prioritizing our faith above everything else?

Yeah, that's kind of the big question, right? And we've kind of hit on this to a degree on some podcasts. yeah, man, think I've always want to start with, I want to start with this because this is something I've been thinking about is, you know, we never meant.

you know, and we talk about in the Christian life, suffering. But we're never meant to just suffer for suffer's sake, right? There's always the joy set before him that he endured the cross, right? I think that sometimes we as Christians, we can just kind of be our own little martyrs, our own little pain, like, hey, and just doing this for the, it's like.

So that's why, you know, we talk about being forged here. You're being shaped and molded. So what is it that you're going through in your life that is really coming through all these frustrations, unknowns, overwhelm, lack of balance that you're feeling, this pressures one way or the other? What is it shaping you for?

Cartwright Morris (04:56.844)
So yeah, I mean, I always want to say, you know, I love talking about just aligning our purpose and our priorities. So going back to the episode about sacrifice, there's something.

If we're truly the question prioritizing our faith above everything else. guess I want to probably put a definition to that. Does that mean a relationship with Jesus? Is that what that's probably saying? What does that look like? So some people would say prioritize their faith. am I going to church? Am I reading my Bible? Am I praying regularly?

Not that those are necessarily bad and those are definitely can be part of it, but I would say probably if you're prioritizing your faith is how am I?

putting my trust, putting my hopes, my love in my relationships with Jesus. think with any, especially even comparing it to even your relationship with your wife, right? If I wanted to prioritize her, then I'm gonna spend time with her. I'm gonna think about her outside of our time together. How am I gonna help her, serve her, make her feel seen? So I think in the same way, the relationship with Jesus is like, what is occupying my thoughts?

these sports leagues, joining these nonprofits, doing all these things for my career benefit? Am I doing all these things? Yeah, so it always comes down to that motivation behind it. What is it? Why would I be pulled in those directions to do that? Why would that be enticing? Does it actually serve the things that matter to me, the priorities in my life, my purpose and my priorities? What matters to me most?

Cartwright Morris (06:43.948)
And you have to ask that question. Because if you're just doing it, like, that sounds good. Or I got a friend doing it. Or it would help me in my career. Or it'd make me look good just so-and-so. It's like really analyzing all those things. I think most people that are burnt out, exhausted, feel like they're constantly saying yes to everything is because there's a...

an unwillingness to confront an identity crisis in themselves. They're living and dying off the words of others.

and I'm not saying this person is, but I think there is when we constantly feel that pull to a lot of different stuff. And I would say God probably designed a lot of people to be high energy, highly social, extroverts that need probably a lot of those outlets. But then there's some, like, but I would say that's a rare, it's less common than not, right? So what is it that when you really feel that pull, what is it deep down that you're really wanting?

is that you do feel called to that nonprofit. You do feel like you need an outlet to...

away from family that recharges you for your family, you know? But I think it all comes down to that, going back to the beginning of just relationship with Jesus. What do you feel like He's asking of you? In your time with Him, in your relationship with Him, in your prayer life, what is that question that keeps coming back up? That would be, to me, prioritizing your faith, putting that first. That's what that looks like. You're actually bringing these thoughts to Jesus and actually really processing, you know,

Cartwright Morris (08:21.008)
Inviting Jesus in into all those decisions. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, it's like we've said before, mean, anything you decide to do or anything you decide to take on, you will be sacrificing something else. Yeah. Right? Right. To pick this up, you got to put that down. Yeah. You can't really do it all. And then think, too, think God's probably...

in their 20s and 30s. Like one thing I'm learning is like, like there's a lot of power in saying no. Yeah. Not power. What am I trying to say? yeah. Strength. There's a lot of strength. Yeah, that's right. There's, there's a lot of strength in saying no, because you're not just saying no, because you don't want to do the thing, but you're saying no, because I don't want to sacrifice the thing that I'll have to sacrifice in order to do that thing. Yeah. You know? And then, so that's kinda,

That's a big piece of it too, feel like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we've all seen the face of somebody that we look up to admire or like, and they ask us for a commitment to something. And, you know, because of that person, we don't want to disappoint that person. may say yes, or, or we hate the thought of their face when we say no. Right. And, you know, we play that in our head, but I think always going back to, want to say one of the early episodes I talked about, and this is something that

this phrase, it's like living my life through the eyes of other people. It's just an exhausting lifestyle. It's exhausting mindset to think about. And I have to...

It's a word, it's a phrase that's been co-opted, but I think it's very true because I think, you know, those who lose their life for my sake.

Cartwright Morris (10:06.956)
Those who try to find their life will lose it, but those who lose their life for my sake will find it. And I think there is something to that language. And I think some people have co-opted the phrase being true to yourself, right? It can be abused in our culture. But there is something to that that I think is when we truly are pursuing our heart and our relationship with God and wanting more of Him in our life and really prioritizing Him above all else, you really start getting clearer.

and what is true to me and I'm not stepping outside of that. Yeah, I was thinking of a little quick story was I was in a men's group and it was a variety of men, mainly 20s and 30s, but there was one like old, gentleman, late early 50s, Marine, and we kind of went in the room like what attributes do you want to be known by in your life?

you know and they all I buy kind of you know courage you know care you know all the you know integrity you know everybody kind of gives their little bulletin board words and he kind of gets to him the this older gentleman and he went I don't know be true to myself be true to who I am and what God's called me to it's like it's kind of like that simple

You think, we try to dress up everything and what it is, it's a little bit of like, we wanna sound good, we wanna look good. And it's like, how do you break all that down and actually go, okay, what matters to me most? And it becomes easier to say no to stuff. It does, it does.

Well, let me tell you, I've kind of done that. We've, think in some of the coaching sessions you've done with me, a lot of it's been shaped around that. And so I'd like to give our audience like an insight of what you would have done with me and something like this. So you touched on it a little bit, but, how can we as young adults live a balanced life that meets the demand goals and demands we have. So first you hit it. It would be defined first, the goals and demands you have and then allow that person to

Cartwright Morris (12:20.088)
you. And then the last part of question. probably whittle those and you probably like and I think Warren Buffett's talked about like list all that stuff and then

then just choose the top three and then get rid of all the rest of them. Yeah. Or when you list them, well, and there's power too. And when you list them and you see it, you probably look at the list and be like, well, that's not really, you know, you probably kind of do the elimination on your But, and then the second part is while also prioritizing our faith above everything else. So you touched on this too. All right. Now this person tell me what does that look like? What does it look like to prioritize your faith above everything else?

speak on what that is and then hold up the two things together and see how they merge. So we have all these demands, all these things we need or feel like we need to do, the demands on our life and then looking at your definition of what prioritizing, know, how does he put it, prioritizing our faith above everything else and then look at the two things together and see how they can live together. And so that's what you would have

with me. Yeah, feel like we've done. Yeah, we 100 % of the exercise. Yeah. Look, what is this? Define this and then define that. you're right. Shed light on both. Yeah. Both of them. See how they can live together because they can live together. Yeah. Yes. I mean, they absolutely can. You have to say no to everything, but just make sure that it's living in harmony with one another. And the only way to really do that is to have the person in the room actually going through that list. Right. So it's kind of hard to speak on the brain dump helps because right. What makes you feel

balance right now is the it's all living in your head. It's all y'all you're trying to balance it up here. And it's not clear. It's not. It's very convoluted. So by discussing it talking about it with somebody writing it down looking at it yourself so writing it down there's so much power in looking at it you know coming a little bit from an outside perspective yeah and then being you know coached on

Cartwright Morris (14:28.654)
you know, well is this true, is that true, is it not true, you know, stuff like that. think that's what...

We've probably done hundreds of times over the last couple years. And I think it's a good exercise too of just like, trust in learning to trust your own gut, your own instincts, the wisdom in your life, people around you. is why going back to your point, even just getting input, you're really trying to hone in of like, okay, what actually makes sense? What really matters? What do I actually really want to do? Cause I think sometimes that gets convoluted cause we do men we live in and what am I supposed to do all the time? You know, and it's like,

most, you're not really in that, that list is a lot shorter than we think it is. And sometimes it's like, we've been around certain people and we end up valuing what they value and what they value is probably not consistent with what we truly need in our life. And it's with our relationship with God. anyway. I don't know, I can keep going on that question. That's a big one. Well, it's kind of a, I mean, it's a common theme of what we talk about. I mean, it's the...

That is, I feel like in a way what men are forged is here to discuss. Right? mean, it's, it's the demands, the things that we face in this world while being a Christian and, and doing both and the tension and the wrestling that happens. So one thing I would say to this person is, Hey, first of all, don't try to do it alone. know what I mean? Um, that, that may be like a scene is like a cheesy Christian statement.

and I probably would have agreed with you about five years ago, but just don't do it alone. mean, cause it's,

Cartwright Morris (16:09.044)
wrestling by yourself is very confusing. and, and this is, this is something that I don't think, I think there's peace and understanding that this tension here that he's talking about living a balanced life, having these goals and demands, own your life while also prioritizing your faith is the kind of the thesis of what we talk about here. It's, it's, it's a constant wrestling, wrestling match that isn't going to go away.

So that might be the unpopular answer. It's not going anywhere. No. Let's learn how to discuss it and kind of, you know, learn the lessons as we go, as we try to do both. Right. that make sense? Absolutely. Cause I...

Going back to the, you know, there's two definitions of word forged that I always forget when I talk about this is like, hey, you're using these struggles in this life to actually forge you into the man that you like God's called you to be and that's true to who you are, right?

Or are you just the other language for forged, right? Like a forged check. Are you being a phony about it and you're just kind of pushing that stuff aside and just doing what everybody else is telling you and you're kind of faking it to make it kind of thing. yeah, anyway. Well, so our next question is, is very similar. I would imagine if we got a hundred questions. It would.

probably at least of them are going to be about the same thing. So I'm going to mention another one from another guy, same age group, he's 26 to 35 years old. He's asking, as someone young in their career, I'm worried about my ego and my career advancement while serving the Lord. What does leadership shaped by Christ look like in the workplace as a younger person?

Cartwright Morris (18:02.894)
It's kind of similar, right? Yeah, similar, but there's like a... Yeah. What is... Say that last part, the lead hours leadership. Yeah. So what does leadership shape by Christ look like in the workplace as a younger person? So it sounds like this guy's probably been being promoted. Yeah. Pretty like really smart guy being promoted.

and he may be leading a team or leading a few people and he's wondering, okay, how do I do that the right way as a young guy? Well, one is I want to say it was Harvard or Cornell did a study seven, eight years ago about that 90 % of leaders think they're self-aware.

and actually only 10 % actually are kind of thing. like, don't know how they, but there's something along that line. that was a Harvard study, the Cornell study said the success on an organization lives and die off the self-awareness of a leader. So I always say that, start from there. How do I?

And thankfully in partnership, speaking of a follower of Christ, in partnership with the Holy Spirit, really accessing that relationship, allowing yourself to reflect in that context. Like, am I being aware of how I'm affecting people, how I'm leading them? You know, how am I showing up every day? What culture am I creating? You know, all the kind of the bigger questions. I think sometimes we just, when it comes to leadership, we just model what we've seen.

percent of time, that's not a good thing. Yeah. Am I being self-aware of like, okay, what is the leader that I deep down really want to be? You know, that creates that is predictable in that the creating of structure and accountability but also that is able to manage chaos that doesn't fall apart when things fall apart, right? That you're actually consistent and resolute and you're willing to show up and still see people as people. Yeah. You know, that's really...

Cartwright Morris (20:16.88)
And so if you use the word Christ like okay, how do I yeah? What did he do? Jesus was in a lot of high-pressure situations of being criticized He led, know most everybody who's probably leading his disciples or between like I think some people said like 16 to 25 They're all that young age group. It's funny when I watch the chosen and some of the stuff happens you're like, yeah I've been in those kind of rooms when I was you know 22 23 and you just see guys bickering or

calling each other out or you know having fun. a great job. That's exactly what happened. Jesus had very much lot of patience but he was very direct when he needed to be direct. He pulled people's side when he needed to pull people's side. But yeah I probably the biggest thing that we

is we've seen is that there just can't be passivity. We've all been around the passivity of leaders just assume or we assume too much. We live in the world of

you know, just go along and get along. Let's just do the bare minimum. You know, people figure it out. You know, versus like no intentionality, understanding your people, knowing who they are, create time, set aside to see if they're actually, to get feedback or actually know if they're actually, you're being clear and they're understanding your directions. that is a Christ-like leader. I don't know if that's what they meant. And I would say as some examples, I'm like, like it's not following Jesus,

Jesus as a leader doesn't mean having Bible studies in your business. Sorry, that's just... You know? Or praying before a meeting. I mean, those aren't terrible things, but that doesn't make you a Christ follower in your organization as a leader. Acting like Jesus in those situations is makes you a Christ You're not saying you not do it, but you're just saying there's a lot of people that do do it that are not Christ-centered leaders. That's what they call it. therefore that means that it gives them license to be a jerk.

Cartwright Morris (22:23.344)
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, so I don't manage or be passive, right? Yeah, I don't manage a lot of people right now we have a small team where I'm at at medplex and But one thing that I do love about my boss Michael is he is

He definitely sees the value in clear communication. He's also not going to come and say, I know I have all the answers. He's more saying, yeah. So it's the confident humility that we talk about. My boss, Michael has a really, does a really good job about that of, guys, here's the standard. You guys are here to help me be as efficient as possible, do everything we need to do business wise. But then also know that you guys are here to do a really good job and I trust you.

doing your job. So it's not micromanaging. If I have to micromanage you, then you're probably not going to be a good fit here. You know what mean? And that's understanding the culture. Exactly. Yeah. exactly. So allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I mean, there's something so refreshing in somebody in a leadership spot.

who allows themself room to be like, hey, you know what? I don't know the answer to this. Let's find it out together. You know, because we've all been around the guys that are like, you know, if they don't know the answer, they don't want you to know that they don't know the answer. And you can see through that for miles. And then you get distrust and all the bad things. So I would say if you're about our age, like this person is, new to managing a team, would be set a standard, set the culture.

over communicate, love communication, really value communication, and then also allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you make a mistake, almost don't celebrate that you made a mistake, but be clear. I mean, guess it is almost celebrating, hey, I made a mistake here.

Cartwright Morris (24:19.566)
Here's what we're doing to fix it. It's not confidence when you feel like you have to hide an insecurity or hide that you're not good at something. That's called arrogance and insecure. That's what arrogant people do. They hide insecurity. People are truly confident. There's a connection to they are confident in who they are, but like we've talked about, but they're humble.

enough their humility as they're comfortable with who they're not. Exactly. know, learning that as a leader is huge. And I would imagine too- Great leaders are willing to surround themselves with people who are great at stuff they're not. Yeah, exactly. Well, and I would imagine too, if you're 30 years old and you're now managing a small team, there's definitely a piece of you that's like, okay, I need to really know every answer. I have to be perfect in this role because you're probably new to it. And

And that's just not the case. And people see through that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what mean? People see through it and it'll fall apart on you. I mean, that's about it. If you try to do that, it'll fall apart. Yeah, man. Because if you're 30, you don't know all the answers. Yeah. People can sniff that out and they'll feel it. And then therefore you will create a lack of trust. Yeah, absolutely. Which if anybody's read the book, Stephen Covey, 515, distrust is like that foundational piece. Interesting. Yeah. And so learning to gain trust with people, you know, and I'll say this part, I

in the extreme, which I say is probably 90 % of leaders out there, even Christian leaders, is it's either like hyper micromanagement, right, or extreme like dissociation.

passivity, right? And it's like there's multiple spectrums in between there of what a business or a culture or organization needs, but it just can't be those two options. It's got to, right? Some businesses need a little more hands-on leader, where some businesses need a more autonomous culture, but there's a spectrum there and you as the leader have to have your finger on the pulse of what is needed regularly.

Cartwright Morris (26:27.216)
And some people can thrive more in autonomous and some can and so learning that understanding about your people like yeah Yes, wow, that's what's fun about watching Jesus like knew each individual what motivated them. Yeah, I'm just That's what's interesting. It's like how he even talks to them how we know so you got it like as the leader that's where you know, I had a buddy who's

you know, been in business for a while where he started was like, yeah, a lot of times my job itself, I just do the last hour or two of the day. Everything else before that is just me, you know, managing people and stuff like that. was like, oh yeah, that's kind of what a leader does. So, I mean, I guess it all depends on the business, but. Yeah, in a real life. So I keep bragging on Michael. I don't want to get Michael too hyped up, but some of y'all will know Michael if you listen to this, but he has a way, like what I've learned from him is he has a way of

And he's really worked at this you know me so I guess and answering this question a little bit is is try to learn how to do this in a way if you're gonna be a leader, but Anyway, Michael like if I'm going in to meet with Michael about something Michael I can I feel so I feel really seen because Michael is Making direct eye contact with me. Yeah, he knows exactly what drives me he knows

what I need, how he needs to communicate it to me. And then when I leave and then, you know, Daphne or Tracy, somebody else we work with go in there, he's able to evolve that, shift that into what they, they need. And it's really impressive to see, like, you can tell it's like, it's very intentional. You know what I mean? It's not like, he's just really good at that. Even though I think he is, but he's

It just feels like he's prepared to talk to me as somebody that works for him in a way. Yeah. Which makes me feel seen, makes me feel like, okay, I'm really valued here. I'm taken care of.

Cartwright Morris (28:31.2)
So if you have a way of doing that and maybe that's something you learn. Yeah. But yeah, that's, that's another thing too. Right. I don't know if there's a question, but it's just something that really valued. Yeah. I think, yeah, the, the great leaders that we know are willing to, though it's uncomfortable is to embrace the uncomfortable, the uncontrollable and the chaotic. Yeah. Yeah. They're not, they don't shy away from that. Yeah. They're okay with it. They're okay with it. You know, if they need to have a hard conversation, you know, they lean.

into it. They look you in the eye. know? So anyway, that's a great question. That's a really good question. That's a great question. Oh, did we? We hit it. We hit it? Yeah, we hit it. Good. Thanks for putting that one in there. That was a really good one. The first two have really been good ones. All right. Here's a cool one. Okay. This is from somebody who's in the same age range, 26 to 35. They're in a sales position.

Does most anxiety come from inability to release control of things out of my control? So does most anxiety come from the inability to release control of things that are out of my control? Yeah, mean anxiety generally comes from, yeah, an outcome that you, the fear of an outcome of something. There's no doubt about that. But.

Yeah, I think therefore it does probably come back to Yeah It's funny say that last part again, yeah, so does most anxiety come from Here we have paraphrase a little bit Does most anxiety come from my inability to release control of the things? That are out of my control

So I think he's basically saying like, yeah.

Cartwright Morris (30:30.843)
I'm feeling anxious and I think it may be because I am not able to release control of the things that I can't control. That'll definitely do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but I think therefore, probably go back to what can you control. Yeah, I was just about to say that. You know, I think it goes back to a conversation of what a good man is. A good man is faithful for what he's been given, therefore what he's, what has been put under his care, his control. But I think maybe going back to even the thought of just what are those pressures thinking, telling you that you have to be on something under your control that's not.

Yeah. that make sense? Like you feel like I need to have this outcome of something that I feel like I should, but I don't. Well, you said so, so see if I can get you to say it the way you say it. But I've come in and I've told Cartwright, Hey, I feel anxious about this. And your response to me, this was probably five years ago was what is, okay. Tell me what your anxiety is, is telling you.

What'd you mean by that? Because I remember we had a really good hour. Yeah, I mean that's going back to just naming and claiming it, like saying it out loud because sometimes when we have anxiety, it's stuck in our head and we're, I mean we see people and they're locked, it's locked in their brain and they're acting out of the anxiety but they're not saying what they're anxious about it. So what's it telling you? Is it telling you...

Sometimes we could feel it in our own our certain places in our body and our chest or ahead giving us headache What's it telling me telling me that I should be doing this? I should be this person. I should should have this I should you know, there's a I think is what we're you're getting at. Yeah. Well, yeah what you said so I'll never forget this so it was It wasn't viewed as like gosh, you have anxiety. Let's try to fix the anxiety. No, it was more Okay, anxiety is just a symptom of something else that's going on

Cartwright Morris (32:30.576)
Right, let's acknowledge anxiety and then let's see what it's pointing to. Yeah. Right, in a way. So, because I used to think that like, man I feel anxious, it's just I just feel anxious. You know what mean? I just, it's present right now and I just have to try to fix it. Not so much like, well what's, what is, I mean it sounds so simple, but what's causing it? Yeah. You know, I mean I guess it is simple. Yeah.

But I guess when you're in the middle of that anxiety, it really helps to like, okay, let me zoom out. Yeah. And let's see. Oh, I think it's this thing. All right. Let's shine light on that thing. Yeah. Let's figure out if it's true or not. Right. Cause it could be just both saying something that's not even true. Actually, honestly, probably 90 % of the time.

It's like, well that person doesn't, like do you think that person really feels that way about you? Like because of this thing that happened? Probably not. So anyway, yeah, I remember we had a Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm starting to feel like I remember that. It was down the hall. But the thing.

That's interesting. Sometimes I like to compare anxiety to stress because some people consider both pretty bad, which stress isn't. know, when they say cortisol levels, right? All that kind of stuff. But stress in a lot of contexts is just tension of your moving towards something and there's some struggle. There's a tension to it. Where anxiety, it goes to another level of anxiety is when fear gets involved. I'm afraid of an outcome. I'm afraid of what this person might think. I'm afraid it, you

What could happen? You know and so that's where yeah going back to what you said. It's like okay. What is this anxiety pointing to? What are you really afraid of? Yeah, this outcome like this question Control I don't have control over what I can't control right it's a paraphrase What that uncontrolled

Cartwright Morris (34:37.58)
What is it that you're afraid of there? What has really got you to the place of like, man, I'm feeling afraid of what could happen. What does that result? And that's going back to like...

Yeah, being okay with the result. Just, you know, I don't know. It's interesting. yeah, that is interesting. And to tie down to really nail down on the question itself. So we kind of define what anxiety is in a way. Do you think that most anxiety comes from that? So maybe he's asking like, Hey, I feel like just, is it probably because of this? And my answer is like,

Yeah, probably is. Yeah, 100%. You know, since he's already making that correlation himself. Yeah. It probably is. And so the next thing that Cartwright would have had me do is let's define that thing. You know, what are you anxious about? And then let's list what you can't control and what you can't control. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a great exercise. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Yeah. There's, yeah, I a hundred percent. It is, I'm sitting there trying to think through just different cases, this anxiety that I've walked people through and even in my own experience, when it gets to that level where I feel it, even in, you know, you feel it in your chest or you feel it and it creates headaches or it's like, I am just so obsessed with trying to control this thing. And it's just like, I gotta let it go. I gotta take a deep breath. That's why I mean, I would say,

know people over talk about it but it's a real thing you got to learn like focus breathing learning to breathe in and out sometimes like it you know it really does settle that of like okay because sometimes when we get anxious overly anxious we just we forget to breathe and learning to that's like okay slowing that down allowing the fog to clear

Cartwright Morris (36:36.642)
Yeah. mean, I, I put on LinkedIn a post recently, people really responded well to like, yeah, sometimes getting clarity comes from ownership. It's like when I fully own what I can own that clarity comes and then go into that exercise, but you just mentioned and then going, okay, I can own what I can own now. I therefore I'm done owning that. I'm done owning that thing that I have no control over. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like,

I'm with that anxiety. Yeah and also I would definitely, I would definitely define the things that you can define and that's a common theme in all these questions. Like define what it is you're talking, what you're really talking about because what I'll do is I'll feel anxious about something and then when I actually try to define it, write it down, you know, I'll already start eliminating things that I know aren't true, that are in my head.

And then also man, like I keep saying this, I say this probably on every episode, not because I'm trying to promote anything, but just don't do it by yourself. Yeah. You know, cause if you're trying to deal with that yourself, I have not been successful doing it, so I can't recommend it. Yeah. Right. You know what mean? it's not man is forged. It's men are forged. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. And, yeah. So just don't do it by yourself. Yeah.

Because if you're as crazy as I am, it won't work out too well. And these guys, I'll just say, one, knowing some of them, they're working at this within, they're kind of doing this with others. But there's a degree, I would say a lot of these issues that I dealt with is because I took a

and I'm not accusing them of this, is like we just can't take a passivity approach to our life. It's just not. You know, I'm a very chill, laid back guy who loves to hit the cruise control button.

Cartwright Morris (38:46.154)
In some ways, I feel like God can give me permission to do that. There are times for that. at the same time, you just can't. And what happens is we just, so going back to the defining, the definables, define in your life what you, bring clarity by defining those things. What is it that I truly want? What has God called me to? How do I prioritize my faith, my relationship with Jesus and my family? Define that what is called, all those things, what is the things I'm trying to control that I can't control?

Taking time to reflect, taking reflection time and like learning, defining those things. Like that is how you take ownership of your life and you walk through it with intention, with direction and you become somebody you really respect and love and admire. You become that guy when you take a potential approach and you're not passive about it. Anyway. You need help doing that. Yes.

You know what mean? It's not like, hey, we're going to give you the step-by-step guide on how to do it yourself. Hopefully you get some nuggets in here that you can actually do yourself, but you need help doing that. You need the conversations that even if you have something scheduled, like I've had things scheduled with Cartwright before and then I haven't really had anything that I really want to talk about. And then I come in and we find something that I could proactively look at down the road or

like back on or you know what mean like you just you just always need help you just need help doing it like you need somebody that really knows what they're doing to help you do it it's funny is you said that I was sitting there thinking like the whole phrase you know self-improvement it's not really just with self you know it's like you just can't you know that it's like I mean you can read the book you can get the tools but it's got to be worked out got to be nuanced for and that only comes out of relationship with Jesus relationship with other

relationship with your wife and figuring this out as you go. mean just you know some of us are verbal processes, some of us are not, but I think there's sometimes about just flushing it out. Sometimes you just get clarity. Yeah. You know. I agree. Yes, so to answer that question, does most anxiety come from the ability to release control of things that I can't control? Probably so. Yeah. It's gotta be yes or no. Maybe we just said yes. I hope that was it. It probably is.

Cartwright Morris (41:12.098)
But now that you know that, let's go a little bit deeper. Let's find out what it is. You know what I mean? What are the things that you're trying to control? Right, exactly. What are those things? Yeah, for sure. Great question. Okay, I kind of have an added question to that one, if that's cool. All right, so this is one thing I've learned. assuming these guys are married, or the person that just asked that is married, so we always want to value great communication in a marriage, right?

But I think some of the times when you're dealing with anxiety and some of the things these guys are dealing with that I've dealt with, is it always, how do you, how do you commute that communicate that with your spouse? Like, is there, is there some sort, not a boundary, but is there some like, like, as I know, like, like if I tell my wife, I'm anxious, which I, I'm not saying don't do, I'm just saying

it can sometimes like increase anxiety in a way because it's a, know, they're your true partner here and they're kind of, they're doing life with you. And if they're not like equipped to kind of break it down the way that you are, it can sometimes not make matters worse because it's never a bad thing to communicate with your wife. I'm not saying that, but

you know, how would you communicate that with your spouse? You know, y'all know what I'm trying to say. Yeah. You're right. Cause you don't want to, uh, um, as the head of the household is what we believe, right? We, we don't want to give them something to carry that they're not meant to carry.

Right? That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, that's what But the tension of, but also don't hide from your wife. Yeah, don't hide. Yeah, don't hide. It's like trying to find that balance. And I would say if your wife is the only person who's helping you carry that, then that's probably the bad part.

Cartwright Morris (43:08.172)
And that's going back to what you're saying is having other men in your life because I think it's great to include your wife in this man I'm feeling really anxious about this situation or in my work right now or about

whatever, you know, and it's, that's, that's bringing her in as your life partner. There's definitely times where I'm like, man, I just don't want to put this on her right now. Absolutely. You know, not that I have to find a solution before I can. That's, I feel like that's a little bit of like you're trying to.

Yeah, but it's a catch-22 because sometimes your wife can just internalize by your just mood and behavior, internalize what's going on, and she could make it easily turn it into, it's something I'm doing wrong.

So sometimes or thinking back to the question about, you know, the guy who's kind of going into a leadership role. Yeah. Like, you know, if you have an issue, if there's an issue at work, which there will be for this person, and then you just go home with it. Well, I my wife, like Carly would be like, well, they're wrong. Like you handled it perfectly. Right. Because the way I would explain it to her would just be from my perspective. So she would be like, well, they're wrong.

like you know right you don't need to do anything they need to fix themselves you know what I mean so there's not you know saying and I love her for that because she's got my back and you know but yeah I don't know yeah yeah my wife is a fiercely loyal person she's like all right who do I need to get right we pull out the brass knuckles right yeah

Cartwright Morris (44:51.03)
Yeah, it's just, it is, it is, like as a man, this is why we talk, you know, going back to one of early questions of being in relationship with Jesus, prioritizing life with Him, the Holy Spirit, what do I need to share?

that it's a laugh at some bringing my wife into my struggle into our within really drawing because like a lot of times in the most painful moments is when It's almost you create markers in your relationship that draw you closer together that this person Sees me in my most vulnerable places, right?

But then, you know, are you just dumping to get rid of it? Tell it to somebody. She's not your therapist. She's not your coach. She's not your whatever, right? Am I just like, hey, can you take this for me? Cause I don't want to hold it anymore. That's where I think maybe your intent, your heart. And it's hard to sometimes really understand that in the moment, but just like, all right, am I bringing her into this process or am I trying to dump it off on her? Yeah.

you know, and your wife intuitively, generally, most women kind of have a general knack for that of understanding what the difference is. And you can kind of feel in their accountants. It's like, thanks for crapping all over me versus thanks for bringing me in on that. Thanks for sharing. Right. Well, and a way to bring her in on that would be, say you've had the conversations with somebody like Cartwright or somebody in your life that you can say, Hey, help me kind of dissect this anxiety that I feel in the way that

we talked about. Then you go to your wife and you can say, look, this is what I'm dealing with, but this is kind of what I've been learning through it. And then it becomes a whole other like, cool. then you kind of, able to at least have the framework to discuss with her, you know, the anxiety that you feel or whatever. that make sense? Like almost like this is what I'm learning in it about myself, about the situation and bring her in on that. You know, the kind of dissecting,

Cartwright Morris (46:54.896)
and then you'll get a lot closer and you'll grow instead of just like dumping it on her and venting about it. that's where I think when we're really, if you are putting in the right things around you as a man for growth and you're being forged, right? Is, okay, if I did, let's say I did dump something on her in anxiety and I just left there and moved on.

Versus okay, I did that but also I actually went to other men or I Processed with the Lord and actually grew and learned from it and came back and had the solution or the revelation from her and apologized for giving that to her Dumping that honor like just kind of like there's a difference of hey Maybe you do end up dumping but there's ownership on you and fixing it and finding solution Yeah, I think is very yeah the white. Yeah your wife if she's in the struggle you want her also bring her in

into the solution. It's hard to compartmentalize. You can't just compartmentalize that stuff. So make her a part of the finding solution process, not just the venting and dumping and honor. Yeah. And you'll thank us later. You're right. Yeah. All right. Last one. We got one more. OK. And this is a good one. This is from...

This person is a CPA in the same age group 26 to 35. Yeah. and he says, give me some tips for bringing friends and coworkers to Christ. Okay. This was an interesting one because I feel like there's two schools of thought here that are both really good. It's probably a combination of both and

And a lot of times it depends on our personality. the two schools of thought, okay? The one school of thought is, hey, step over that barrier, that feeling of fear, and just go for it.

Cartwright Morris (49:06.574)
Right? And then there is, you know, I'm a vid advocate of like, hey, we need to build a platform to speak in people's life. People need, they like, you know, judge a tree by its fruit. When our friends see the fruit in our life, then we create that platform to share the gospel in their life, to share Christ with them. Right? So allow them to speak when they're around you and they see the fruit of having a relationship with Jesus, the logo. What's that? I want it.

And therefore, also when they, you know, it's loving, his loving kindness that leads us to repentance. That's Romans two something, right? It's loving. They need to know one is like that. The good man holding up a mirror of like when they look at us, are they seeing Jesus and seeing his loving kindness for who I really am and going, man, I am a sinner and I need him. Right. So there's like that part of it. And then there's the actual just, hey,

Just going for it. let me hit on the going for it. Asking a friend out for lunch. Or grabbing a beer, whatever. The temptation is to preach. The temptation is to share information. Tell them what they need. I would put all that down and I would just story time.

One, you want to wait for the invitation. I think that sometimes really helps, right? Hey, why are you, why do you do this? makes you so, right? I've seen this about you, wait for the invitation. But sometimes it is just, hey, going to him, like, hey, I'd love just to, you know, tell him upfront. I'd love to tell you a little bit of, you know, we hadn't seen each other so long or, you know, you hadn't really know this part of my life, but I'd love to share my story, a story. What has, like why I was this and now I'm this.

That is like, that's really at the end of the day, builds relationships, really gives a platform that's not preachy. Or, because most people, like they just, they're gonna repel, like the information, we're all, they're saturated from information of, like at Google or go in there, Claude or whatever, or chat TV, it's like, when people say the gospel, what is it? You know, like.

Cartwright Morris (51:26.094)
I don't think they need a full five-point plan of what the gospel is. They need to know what has Jesus done in your life, specifically. And sometimes we just learn, I would say, a good starting place. One is like, okay, how am I living my life? Am I a beacon, a mirror for others to see Jesus? What about my life, right? And then two, I've actually sat down and...

looked at my story, looked at what God has done, some of my ups, downs, pains, frustrations, and how has God used that. I would say those are the two things, like really action points you could really use from that. Yeah, so I think that's a starting place. Did I clarify that, Beau? Yeah, I think you did. It makes sense to me. And then also just making sure that you have the trust of that person, maybe. Yeah, that's what I kind of mean about life thing. Yeah. yeah.

It is a... There's certainly a stigma, if you're not a Christian, to a Christian trying to tell you about Jesus. Right? And so what you just said is, I think is 100 % true. If they don't see it in you first, then they're not going to listen to you about it. If it's preachy or if it's...

whatever that stigma is, if you confirm that stigma to them, it's like you said, it be repelled like crazy. I do love the question though, because I mean, I feel convicted right now. I don't know that it's like necessarily.

on my mind the way that maybe it should be. Like I don't know that I'm like every day thinking about, how can I help grow the kingdom of heaven today? You know, when really, when you think about it, it's all that matters. Right. You know, it's all that matters and it matters a lot more than our company's website that I'm trying to build. You know what I mean? It doesn't, I mean, I'm not saying you should quit work and be a missionary, but

Cartwright Morris (53:29.712)
But it is I'll just I love that question. Yeah, I love that. It's yeah, you know, yeah, I just love this being asked. Yeah, absolutely. I'm trying I'm going to butcher the quote and I can't remember who's by but it was like shared, you know.

Every day share the gospel and if you have to use words. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so I think there is something there is like that question is convicting because it's right. They need it. like I would say another part to that is also like making an ongoing conversation. If you really want to like share the gospel, somebody share Christ one like, yeah, make it about stories, but to like make it just an on like I think too many times, you know, get to the brother.

Can we pray the prayer together to set the Lord Jesus right to share? It's very much feels like a number.

Notch on the bedpost to use another terminology. It's like, can we pray? It's not that, you want people to accept Jesus in their heart. What makes them a Christian is that they confess with their mouth that Jesus is Lord, 100%, Lord of their life, not just their savior, but their Lord, and then believe in their heart. They want that truth that's true. But then there's always the thief on the cross thing, man.

just because they didn't say it exactly the way you repeated it, right? You know, it's like. What do you mean by that? Well, the story of the thief on the cross, like the guy, one guy on one side saying, hey, if you're this guy, you should be like, you know.

Cartwright Morris (55:18.19)
bringing your angels and blowing this all up and the one guy on the other side going, do you not know this is what, you know, I can't remember the exact wording, but Jesus basically goes, you will be in paradise with me. It's like, wait, what? He didn't pray the prayer, he didn't the exact doctrine. didn't, you know, like, today you'll be in paradise with me. Like, wait, what?

So there's something about that heart posture that when we're in a relationship with people, especially non-Christian, thinking about our friendship in Christ, it's like we got to think in the context of like, okay, the Holy Spirit can...

take a long time to act suddenly. Like that prick on our spirit. And if we're truly wanting to represent Him and our heart is there and we're sharing what actually happened to us, there's a, the more of the purity of that versus like, all right, we got to get to a certain result here. We got to get them to pray the prayer. Got to make sure they understand the, you know, doctrine of the Trinity and you know, you know what it's the word atonement means. Oh, you know, we get to that.

point sometimes as first world Christians and we think that's the answer and it's like you know there's a thief on the cross just sometimes it just doesn't always make sense in our little box yeah it feels like what you're saying is if you approach it with religion yeah it's not gonna you're not gonna yeah start the outcome that you're trying to get to with that person mm-hmm like I just feel like religion is like the like

to use the term we've already used a few times, like the true repellent to anybody. People that aren't Christians, especially around here, if you're not a Christian, you have an experience with a church or something similar, probably. You've been in a group, you've been around it, and you were turned off by that already. And that's how you view, that's the lens you view Christianity through.

Cartwright Morris (57:19.22)
And so if you, if you repeat that same thing, it'll just be confirmed in them that this is not what I'm looking for. But if instead you, kind of.

you know, own your imperfections and just own your absolute need for a savior because you're screwed up as me and as Cartwright. Then I think people are attracted to that. You know what I mean? It's not a, yeah, I love what you said about the thief on the cross. Never thought about that. There was no, there was no prayer. There was no, like it was completely like,

I see your heart. Yeah. Yeah. You know what mean? then I know what just happened to you. How you see me, right? Cause that's all that matters. Yeah. Yeah. And so giving people that you are quote unquote, trying to share the gospel with that same freedom. Yeah. You know, and, and, and so, you know, obviously sharing with them in whatever way first get them to trust you first earn their respect. Yeah. Um, don't make it a theological argument.

Also, I would say that's why I say story lean into story You know, that's good. You know, yeah, I imagine this person probably already is thinking of an individual a person and Probably understands where they're coming from and so there's like there's you know So you just like look man all I can tell you is about what what's happening me? Yeah, you know I mean, I don't I'm not a theologian, know I mean, I can't quote the Old Testament or even the New Testament but I can just tell you that I feel at peace and

I still struggle and when I struggle I know I need a Savior and I screw up every day yeah and he forgives me and I feel the peace for that yeah I mean I think just the honesty that comes with that and people would be like okay yeah this is different right yeah this is follow-up and therefore follow up with questions don't feel like it's got to be a yeah and that's the hard part sometimes we

Cartwright Morris (59:20.588)
Like I said, you get to information phases. they gotta know everything and that's gonna convince them. It's like, well maybe if you actually just gave a crap about the person and they're going through. Ask them what's their reservations. They probably heard the gospel. What kept them from saying yes before? I know. No, I love that. That's really good. Yeah, I needed that too. Thank you, Carl, right? And thank you for the person that sent that question in. Because it is, I mean, it's what we're called to do.

You know, and I think we spend the majority of the time on this podcast, rightfully so, of like, um...

Figuring out the wrestling match we're going through which I mean, of course like we absolutely do need to do that But we are here to yeah grow the kingdom Yeah, there's I would say easily forgotten. Yeah, at least for me and I'm focused on my own issues So blinders on yeah, this is all that matters worse about that. Like, you know, I mean I need to do to fix myself. Yeah

Right and Yeah, man, cool. Yeah, that's a great explanation. Yeah, question Yeah, and I would say also like yeah, if you're interested go find stuff to Learn about how to share your faith more. I want to say John Mark Comber just came out of the book about it I'm blanking on the

name of the book. Is that the Ruthless Elimination of Herod? Yeah, yeah, he came up a book about practicing sharing the gospel with people. He's up in Portland where people are adamant about the front lines. It's not like Birmingham. So, yeah, that's a great question. Cool. Alright, well that wraps up the first Q &A we've had.

Cartwright Morris (01:01:09.166)
I love it. Yeah, was awesome. Yeah, I love the Q &A too. your questions. Yeah, please send them in. Please send in any questions you have. You don't have to put your name on there. It's just a simple link, right? Where can they find the link? Yeah, it's in the description. It's in the bio of, you know...

I think in all out, especially on YouTube. So check it out. Yeah. So please ask your questions because if you're asking that question, there's probably 50 people on here listening that have the exact same question you have. me and probably maybe in court, right? Sometimes. All right. Cool. Thanks everybody. an hour. Nice.