Why Admitting Mistakes Is the Key to Genuine Confidence and Trust | Ep 165

In this episode, Cartwright and Bo explore the importance of humility, embracing failure, and the role of ego in personal and professional growth. We discuss practical ways to foster truthfulness, vulnerability, and authentic relationships, especially for men navigating their twenties and thirties. Most men struggle to admit when they're wrong — not because they lack confidence, but because their ego is often wrapped around the need to appear perfect. 

Cartwright and Bo unpack the hidden costs of pride, revealing how admitting mistakes not only fosters trust but accelerates growth in both your personal and professional life. The real winners, he argues, are those who choose truth over ego every time.When you're in your twenties or thirties, the pressure to have all the answers can be overwhelming. Cartwright explores why our false belief that we must always look confident keeps us stuck in inauthenticity—and how this barrier damages relationships, hampers leadership, and stunts real growth. You'll discover practical insights on how successful men gather lessons from failure, how ego-driven insecurities drive bad decisions, and how humility is the true mark of strength.This episode breaks down the success of high-trust environments and gives you the mindset shifts needed to foster genuine relationships. You'll learn why embracing imperfections, asking more honest questions, and owning your mistakes create space for trust, influence, and long-term success. Plus, Cartwright shares powerful stories from biblical figures and modern leaders, showing how vulnerability actually builds resilience and respect.The stakes couldn’t be higher: clinging to ego traps you in a cycle of isolation, dishonesty, and superficial success. But by shifting your focus to truth and humility, you open the door to authentic influence, peace, and a more meaningful life. Whether you're leading a team, building a marriage, or growing as a man, this episode delivers the clarity you need to start right now.Perfect for men committed to real growth, leaders hungry for trust, and anyone tired of surfaces and masks—this is your invitation to live out the strength found in humility. Hit play, and discover how the power of admitting you're wrong can transform your relationships, your career, and ultimately, your own sense of worth.

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Key  topics

The role of ego in personal growth
The importance of admitting mistakes
Building trust through vulnerability
The impact of ego on relationships and success
Practical steps to embrace truth and humility


Takeaways

Admitting you're wrong is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Successful people embrace failure as part of growth.
Building authentic relationships requires vulnerability.
Creating a culture of truth starts with self-awareness.
Humility and self-reflection are key to leadership and success.

Sound bites

"Everybody's got an ego, and it stinks."
"The truth can be hard, but it's the path to growth."
"Admitting you're wrong is a sign of strength."


Chapters

00:00 Navigating Change and Expectations
03:02 The Pursuit of Truth vs. Ego
06:20 The Role of Admitting Mistakes
08:51 Building Trust Through Vulnerability
11:48 The Impact of Fatherhood on Ego
15:02 Lessons from Work Environments
17:55 The Influence of Humility in Relationships
20:56 Creating a Culture of Truth
23:42 Understanding Ego in Success
28:08 The Role of Ego in Personal Fulfillment
31:17 Creating a Culture of Truth
34:34 Admitting Mistakes and Learning
39:44 The Impact of Ego on Relationships
45:17 Engaging with Personal Stories for Growth
52:42 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Understanding

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Transcript

Cartwright Morris (00:02.414)
kick it off bow. This looks different. They did something, they changed it up. Okay. Hopefully which part of the it just it just looks in the in the middle like it I don't know.

Any other little features they got here? They're starting to win you back now? Maybe. I don't know. We'll see how this pans out. All the excuses they make.

Say about excuses. Just like a butt. Everybody got one, they all stink. Yeah, I can kick it off if you want. Yeah. It's so I I wouldn't mind doing maybe at the end or we could do a separate video of like 'cause I've I've created a bunch of scripts, but I don't necessarily love but something about promoting this fall. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. You know, for sure.

Cartwright Morris (01:00.854)
got your coffee? Coffee, water.

Cartwright Morris (01:08.472)
Alright. What's up, Cartwright? What's up, Bo? You living? At I V I Living. You've got a big vacation coming up. So we're trying to get some content. Trying to get yeah, content's the word, right? I'm your content coordinator. Yeah, some episodes in the queue. exactly. So yeah, one thing

This has kinda been on my mind a a little bit recently and we talked about it a little bit and felt like it kinda needed to be fleshed out a little bit more, maybe. was this idea of pursuing truth starting out deep, aren't we? Pursuing truth while you have as men, we all have this massive ego. Yeah. You know, yeah. So how do we you know, how do you

continue to work that muscle of pursuing the truth instead of just listening to your ego because listening to your ego's a lot easier and the truth can be a lot harder. Is that the right word? Yeah. and so I think for me it's for me it's hard to

It's really hard to admit when you're wrong about something when you when you felt so strongly about it or I would say especially in my twenties, now I think it's a little bit easier because you know, you see the success of admitting admitting you're wrong pretty quick in the process before you dig yourself in too big of a hole. Right. You know? Right. and and plus I just know I can be wrong a lot. You know, and and so anyway, but I'm I'm wondering I I wanna get you talking on like

Why is admitting as men in our twenties and thirties w why is admitting we're wrong we're wrong so hard even when we know we're wrong? Well I think we all say yeah, I would say a lot of probably stems from growing up in a environment where, just being chastised for messing up for

Cartwright Morris (03:20.777)
not doing well and so therefore like manhood, masculinity looks like having it all figured out, having all the answers. And so but it it just when you Yeah, it comes it I think it comes from a false reality, a false belief. Really, that the ego is it's all about presentation. It's all about yeah.

looking like you got it all figured out when actually you're in the inside you're super insecure. You're walking around. Yeah. Yeah and it yeah, so anyway, go ahead. Yeah. Well no, was just gonna say it is interesting because like now as you get a little bit older and you get a little bit more experience you do start to realize that like the guys that you looked up to so much. Mm-hmm you know

The guys you looked up to, it felt like everything they did was right and you know what I they were never wrong about anything.

So like you kind have this image or expectation in your head that like yeah okay, well when I get to that point in my career or in my life or in my family, the expectation for for me to never be wrong just like those guys were. Yeah. But the thing you realize is the guys you were looking up to had the same issue. A hundred percent. They were never you know, it's like you said, it's all visual, it's all about how you present yourself. So like these guys presented themselves confidently and what you realize about

presenting confidence is a lot of time you are not even that confident. No. You know what I mean? It's kinda like it it's all in your presentation. Right. You know? I mean it's it's deceiving in a way. Yeah, and there's a level yeah, and it's like the guys that are r really are successful, that really are confident, you you've just they've they've just

Cartwright Morris (05:15.009)
They've gathered the lessons over the year from being wrong, right? Like yeah there's a great scene at Landman about that. It's like daughter going, Daddy, why are you always right? And he goes, Well, 'cause I've been wrong so many times that I yeah, was able to finally learn the lessons. It's like the people that really are successful have embraced failure to greet that as of part of the process. When a lot of times in our twenties, it's like, Man, for me to fit into this world, fit into this system of being

a man being successful, being whatever, it you feel like you have to take on a level of i inauthenticity, really, and you have to take in and your ego ends up taking over and it blinds you to like your true growth and to really who you meant to become. 'Cause you end up just f your your ego ends up forming into some version of something that you think is right and it's just not. Yeah. Well and then the most important thing that's right to you is

situations like that is that you come out looking good or or puffed up or or or at least in the eyes of other people. You end up looking like you're right. That's interesting. It's almost like the ego

It it's almost like, you know, you know when you're wrong, but your ego is just telling you, Well, you can't appear that way. Right. So it's almost like at least in my experiences like I've wanted to find a way out and just admit it, but I'm like, Well, I'm too far in and I look too confident and you know what I mean? If I back up now then, you know, maybe people won't respect me in the future when I have an idea. You know what I mean? Or when really the opposite's true.

'Cause if you admit when you're wrong, then when you have an idea in the future people will kind of feel the freedom to like push back or make it better or you know you develop really trust in the room when you're willing to get that. Yeah, but too many of us it's like man, I lost my thought there, but there was something

Cartwright Morris (07:18.954)
I don't know, just thinking through my own experience has been interesting. 'Cause there is like a yeah, kinda your point, you live the the lie long enough, but you what you end up doing is you just kind of isolate yourself and then when the truth starts really closing in, you end up you're so

enamored of keeping up the facade that the lie you almost have to practice the lies to keep it going and you're almost like stop like what am I protecting? And that's really I think the question when it comes to your ego. What are you at the end of the day protecting? And it's your ego. That's all. That's what we mean. And this is why we're saying love the truth more your ego because you end up what ends up happening is you create Yeah, that you end up protecting that versus actual the truth, which the truth as we know sets us free. But also the truth like it's stimulating

Growth, it creates trust, builds relationships. Yeah, and it's it's wild. You c you really find out who you can depend on.

And you really find out those r high quality relationships when you're willing to to embrace truth. People that want you to keep up a facade and ego, not the ones that you want in your life long term. Unfortunately. Yeah. You don't want the people that always affirm everything you say to surround you, right? Echo chambers, man. We l there's so many of right? Well, and that's true. I mean that's true. I mean, immediately my mind always goes to like to work. You know what I mean? But it's also true

in your family and in your friend group too. I mean you don't want friends that'll just be like, Yeah, you know, what you're doing's fine. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's people that are worse than you are, you know what I mean? Or like whatever. Like Yeah, I mean I think the true value in friendship is like knowing that I guess in a way like knowing where you stand

Cartwright Morris (09:20.715)
I don't know, w what am I trying to say? Yeah it's almost like knowing where you stand in your own life because I know that cart ride will tell me the truth. Right. As long as kinda like a safety in that, as long as you're Yeah. Well you there's a friend that, you know, basically if we use the analogy of the Titanic that goes, Hey, there's an iceberg up there who will tell us and and actually deflate the Yeah, right. Well it's not gonna hurt us. You know, isn't I'm not that you know

And I think that's that's the f that is a friend at the end of the day versus a friend going, you you'll be okay. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're not drinking that much. Yeah. Yeah. y you you only l lie about this stuff, you know. And that person over there you're dealing with lies more than you did. Right, yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, good gosh, man.

Yeah. And it it's it's it's yeah, it is interesting I think about people that have been willing to call me out on the on my crap have been how thankful I've become. They're probably still in life. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And l and the checking of your ego

There there's yeah, it's it's interesting when you you grow up in an environment where when someone finally does call you and it turns into an argument.

the ability, and this is probably the next stage of like, all right, well how do I deflate my ego here is like when someone calls you on it, even I we I've we we I've said this probably a thousand times, but it's like even if it's only twenty percent true, own the twenty percent. Yeah, you're right. Learn how to do that. That's that's that's how you build trust and relationships. That's how you grow. That's how you when you give people a voice in your life, you're saying, Hey, I value your opinion. you see a blind spot that I don't see and

Cartwright Morris (11:16.897)
But a lot of us do is we even if we does a turn argument then we go back and we try to figure out a way around it and deflect and call them out on their crap, you know, it's like yeah, well there's no perfect person. So yeah, it's just who yeah, thinking really went yeah, if if I think it's a great way to evaluate in our twenties, like, all right, who is around me that actually I have given a voice to speak into me, into my life.

Cartwright Morris (11:50.37)
And then who are you looking up to?

You know, who who do you wanna be like one day who's speaking into your life too and correcting you? Yeah. You know what I mean? Mhm. Like is the guy ha you know, this is does the person who's speaking life into you live the life that you could see yourself living when you're fifty or fifty five or whatever, you know what I mean? Like I mean that's why we've talked about this a ton, but I especially you and I over the years, but I mean, that was the reason I got out of coaching.

You know, is because man, talk about egos. Yeah. I mean you can you could be totally wrong on a play call or take a time out of the worst time possible.

And Sunday when we're breaking it all down and doing staff meetings, you know, it to them it's like, Well, I wasn't wrong. Yeah. It was my decision, you know? Like it's like, yeah, I think you're right, but Yeah, you know, it this is not to this is not to beat you up on Yeah, we gotta be better. That you pass it on fourth and one. It's yeah, it's w when it comes back up again next week, how do we mm how do we get better? I think it's the same thing for us. Like, you know, I it's funny, man. I literally what you just said, I'm going

through right now. I I've got something going on at work right now that

Cartwright Morris (13:14.807)
You know, build our portal. You know, and so like I build all the software for all of our providers to use and stuff like that. And I'm learning that in real time. And I had something coming up this week where one of our doctors wasn't using it correctly. And it's not the doctor's fault, they just don't know how to use it. And and I was tasked with well train them on how to use it. And of course my ego swells and I'm like, I'm not trained like Yeah. You know what I mean? We've got other people.

people that can train I need to keep working on this stuff. You know what I mean? And and I didn't say that out loud, but I kinda just didn't do it 'cause it wasn't a priority to me, even though it was a priority to some of our leadership. Yeah. And I got called out on it yesterday and I felt my ego swell. Yeah. But then I was like, you know what

It's just not worth it. Like I just need to do it. Because I know the path. Like when you swell up and you and you get defensive, I know the pathway. It it's it's it's never good. Yeah. It's never good. And the self awareness to to know that it's that's coming is yeah. It's really good. So just s hey, just suck it up and do it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like and just suck it up, yeah. You you know what I mean? And so that's really interesting you said that. Literally that was happening this week. And

Yeah, I got in trouble for yesterday. But I mean, you know, you know, we're we're a medium to small size clinic. Like you just gotta you you know, it's we're not corp you you know Yeah. Do do what's gotta be done. Don't don't necessarily think about do what's your job. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know the corporation of Yeah, and so for guys that are like in small to medium sized companies, you know, you have ten people or you have five people or whatever and

I think a lot of times guys that come from like bigger organizations into smaller type organizations like that, there's a lot of friction because of well that's not my job. And it's like, dude, you don't have a job here. This is just Yeah. We're just yeah, we're trying to all of us be successful at the same time. Yeah. Look, whatever needs to be done needs to get done. Yeah. And I've felt my own ego at times be like, Well, I don't do that. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Cartwright Morris (15:34.328)
That's too low for me. You know what I mean? Like s I mean, just be you know. Yeah. And that's and and I think sometimes, especially if you think about this in your twenties, and this has happened to me before, is definitely you you know, maybe you've been in a place for a couple of years and you start doing that. That what it looks like to be successful or what it looks like for me to feel like I'm progressing in this role outside of compensation title is I don't do the menial task anymore. Yeah. I'm I'm beyond that.

it's like w well what does that communicate to your bosses? that you're childish and Yeah. You know? And maybe you've that's what you've seen is like, this is you know, this is where I get to puff my chest and give this to somebody else. Yeah, and it makes it and you s and you certain absolutely don't have the

I I can't do that because my boss, yesterday, you know, our our AC went out or this week whenever it was and he was in there, you know, putting box fans up and opening doors and trying to fix the Yeah. You know, I mean like there's no Right. You know what I mean? So like who am I to be like, No, I'm not training

And the and our CEO's mopping the floor. You know what I mean? So like it's anyway, yeah, I f I feel that for sure. Yeah, I mean I would say for I mean, I still do today, I mean it is like like downstairs, you know, we have a publishing company connected what we do and it's not necessarily I don't

You know, I definitely don't work for them, but one of the ladies who's you know, she's in her fifties and moving, you know, boxes of books by herself, I'm like, I I can do that. Yeah, yeah. I can put that in the back of your car. Yeah. Like you know, like you know, you don't no I'm not being paid for that. Right. But like doing stuff like that where it's like, Hey, you know,

Cartwright Morris (17:30.647)
It's funny, my back isn't as strong as it was when I first started here, but But I am still the young guy here, which is funny funny enough. But You always get volunteered for that. Right. But it's like stuff like that. And I I and I always say that this is what's interesting and I think for guys twenties, thirties, and some of already stepping into this, is I think there's this is why everybody, if especially if there's any inkling of desire to do it, is yeah, you become a father, 'cause that will do it. That will that will

help you kill that. Yeah, that's a good point. There's like there you can't have an ego when you're changing a diaper. Where you get thrown up on. Where you get thrown up on and it's like men and I would say our generation is bracing that more. We kinda talked about that as like as men doing some of those

caretaking tasks. You know, 'cause at the end of the day, this child needs to be cared for. They need to have clean diaper. They need to be fed. They need to be held. Then it it's like and it's men learning to check that ego more and more. It's such a a fatherhood like forces that issue. It's like or you're gonna it little it'll lead to conflict in your marriage. It's like check your ego or or or your wife will

you'll you'll exp experience it big time. You'll feel the tension. Yeah. In your marriage. I promise. So same thing. Right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And how that filters in other areas of your life. I think it it does kind of it's there's it's like being a father, how that allowing that process of being a dad, then it filters in other areas. And you just start

Yeah, you just like you become a more authentic person. One, you become more empathetic, you become aware more of others, so that ego just starts diminishing. But two, you start going, Okay, where am I adding value? It's like what is the best place here? You know. I mean, even at home, like you s I think I've I've mentioned this before, it's like you start really thinking about it's like, all right, I am not the primary caregiver at home. but when care is being given, where where can I be helpful? It's not probably sitting on the couch with

Cartwright Morris (19:44.292)
scrolling on my phone. Mm-hmm. Right? It's probably doing the dishes or cleaning something or, you know, getting the bed ready for you know y i it's just there's how that's like learning to that home that how that filters then it like in a work environment. So you start going, Okay, w you know, I can't

You know, if I'm not in the room creating big strategies for long term vision of something that I think is what an executive does, well well what else could I do? How can I support that? Thinking through that kind of stuff. I think and anyway, I always just like come back to that fatherhood question 'cause it you know, I didn't become one until I was thirty nine. So you really think about it just I don't know, it just forces a a part of your brain, a humility that is not

necessarily worked until until you just really start. Yeah, I mean having kids. I mean it especially if you're not in an environment that encourages f feedback, truth, all that kind of stuff. 'cause it's tough. I mean it's it's wild that we live you know, even in churches we have that, you know. It's a very bureaucratic

'Cause I that's what I always come back to, I think, about just politicians and stuff like that, and how that's kinda just filtered in other areas of our society and our offices and our churches and our and our homes and our friendships and community. It's like, man, it's just a a poor way to live. and so there like what what what goes in tandem with that is like, okay, I have to be w more willing to hear like what we said, love the truth more than my ego, all right.

Well then learning in tandem with that, how how do I create that in my life, aka how do I start learning to share the truth one with myself with others in a way that's received? It's like those two things. How do that's kinda like and that's that's kinda hard. And that's hard. And you have to ha you have to be around people consistently. We have to be in relationship to f to to find that. And unfortunately some of you we it le we li we're all like feeling a mile long and an inch deep.

Cartwright Morris (22:00.064)
Yeah. And so finding those friendships, man. When I talk to guys who have like weekly or

even monthly like group meeting with guys and they're like living life on life sharing. I'm like, you have gold, hold on to it. Yeah. It's like it's almost like that, you know, the parable Jesus said of the treasure in the field. Like that is something that's really good. Hold on to that, treasure that. Yeah. And 'cause it it's like especially in your twenties, 'cause we're so transient in our twenties, man. You know.

I think in my twenties I drove across the country like five times. You know, like if you wanna put it in literal terms. Yeah. You know, we move jobs, we move

churches, we you know, friend groups, you know, you move from your you got your high school friends, your college friends, and then you're getting like creating a whole new set of friends in your twenties and it's like man probably dating and trying to figure out who you're gonna view with. Yeah, and it's like all that. And so it's like how do we th still create that almost like culture of truth in our life, you know? And you know, it's it's tough. It's tough. And so sometimes if we

if it's not provided for us, we gotta go out and find it. You know, and that's a lot of what, you know, I do, but man, there's places that c i it happens, but it's like, man, how do we love the truth more than our ego? And it's it's it's like a I think

Cartwright Morris (23:32.787)
meh like I it was really humbling for me and I and I've shared this on the podcast a a big time moment like when I was in my late twenties and working I had two women both older than me

I did not have any desire necessarily to be in a l like long term friendship or beyond you know, beyond work with them. But they create you know, they confronted me on something and I just always rem they confronted me on my engagement in the process of what we were trying to do and the work we were doing. 'Cause I was very much isolated, wanted to do the bare minimum with them and do my own thing. And like

That was just gonna be much harder and more painful and and so they confronted me and I remember thinking

They're right, they're not a hundred percent right, and there was part of me that wanted to tr truly just lit and this is where I mean it is it is why we've created almost like a narcissistic culture in a sense that, all right, well they're only twenty they're the thirty percent they're wrong, let me just harp on that. Yeah, you know, let me just stay on that and let's def let me deflect. And it's like I encourage all y'all right now, if someone does have the courage to confront you on something, whether it's at work, home, community, church, whatever.

receive whatever they're hearing, learn to listen.

Cartwright Morris (24:59.915)
You can definitely chew up the meat, spit up the bones moments, but like learning to then process that and go and I remember that moment, I really felt like the Holy Spirit just kind of stopped me and it's like, just listen to what they have to say. Yeah. 'Cause the overall thing what they're saying, they you know, because I'm nodding and going, Okay, and I'm listening, they may have taken some liberties and started just you know, what's the line from old school? I'm trying to make a point, Frank, you don't to celebrate it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Vince Vaughn, I love Vince Vaughan. Anyway, but it's like learning to then okay, you know, take that in, receive it, go, okay, what what overall they're wanting from me. It's like, okay, that's what I'm gonna do. Yeah. You know. So Yeah. No, it's funny too how like so hearing you talk about that, I it kinda changes my perspective a little bit on ego. I think ego to me has always been like

I have to I have to be right or I have to be but really at the core of like this deceiving part of ego is like it's n it really doesn't have anything to do with me. I just wanna look like I'm yeah I'm the smartest, coolest, bright baddest person here. And it's funny when you think about it that way, yeah. And then you think about guys that like get into their forties and fifties and start making really good money. Mm-hmm.

And like the guys that I I don't know that's it's probably not a hundred percent true, but I think it is a lot of the times is the guys with the egos and the money, man, they have to show you their money. Yeah. You know what I They're they're they're buying the biggest house, they're

You know, the nicest car, stuff like that. And I think all that's okay, but it almost is like I gotta make sure that people know how successful I am. You think about the humble men, like that we both know that are extremely wealthy guys, especially here in Birmingham, Mountain Brooks, stuff like that. And you have both, but like the humble ones, I mean, they live in a nice house, but it's not something that you would like glance at if you drove by. You know what I mean? Like like my dad drove the same.

Cartwright Morris (27:09.575)
green suburban until it literally died on the side of the road. And then he's driving the same car that he got ten years ago again. You know what I mean? There's just no there's no need for for the guys that are able to kinda at least

I don't know, like work through their ego. There's no need for them to tell it show you how successful they are. Right. And and when you scale all the way back to when you're twenties and you're probably not making a lot of money, but the whole point of the ego lie is no, hold on, hold on. I have to show you

how smart I am with this. Right. You know what I mean? It's it's not so much like it's not so much that I don't want to get to the same result you are. I just have to make sure you know that I'm the one whose idea it was. Right. I mean how many times have you had an idea that ends up working and somebody else gets credit for it? man. And just that knife that goes in your gut. huh. And it's like how do I how do I subtly bring this up so that people know that those th

That's the ego talking. Yeah, especially me. Like I don't have ide good ideas a lot. So when I have one, it's like I gotta own this. Please give me credit. But I mean that's kind of a shade of ego, right? I mean it's I mean, you know, I don't I can't let them take credit for this. Yeah, yeah. This is my idea. How do I how do I tell the people that I respect so that they see me? Yeah.

You know what I mean? They see me for being the amazing person that I am. You know what I mean? Like so your point I mean you're making points like from what I'm talking about, like ego tries to protect the image, but ego also demands attention. It's like how do we kill those desires in our heart of like man I

Cartwright Morris (28:56.055)
Don't I don't need to present a certain image to people. I just need to be myself and live from that place because that's gonna I'm gonna be the most fulfilled, the most excited, hopeful,

present meaning I I'm just gonna enjoy more life when I'm a living for myself and not protecting somebody. But then too, to your point, it's like if I'm d constantly trying to demand attention, like if that's the greatest currency in life. Yeah. And what it is, it comes from a desire to be loved, which is a real thing, but it it it gets warped. And it's like I d I want to be seen, known, right? There that is a I think that is a core desire of humanity, but our ego takes over it and it's all about credit. Yeah. Give me the credit. I love

Yeah. I really do. Yeah, man. I love getting credit. Yeah. And I think what's interesting is you go back to the whole money thing, 'cause we are, you know, noticing this about certain people, and it's like money can it it it can it it can feed the ego to the point where you don't

you can love the ego more than the truth. And I keep I like the ca comparison language of like coming back to that place and where I've just known certain guys because they can pay for something, they don't actually have to be confronted with the truth. Because they can right? Yeah. I mean I a great example was I think

Michael Jordan, right? In the last dance I talked about that, it's like he kinda got to the point, right, where it was like and the only people around him really were the people he was paying. Yeah. You're like, how much truth is he, you know, in probably a areas outside of basketball that he was he hearing? And you think about the got people like in that place, it's like, Man, you really can just surround yourself with yes men. And so how do you create that culture before that happens, right? I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of very intelligent, very talented people that

Cartwright Morris (30:57.495)
you know, they may not be in the success of like a Michael Jordan even yet, but like how do you create that like going back to what I'm saying, like that culture of truth, so that when you do kinda g reach that level of success, you can look back and say, it's because I I chose the truth over my ego and I allow that money to dictate. Anyway, it's it's an interesting th th like it is a a journey to go on.

And it doesn't t it doesn't happen overnight, that killing of your ego. And it there's still days it pops up, even for me. Well, I think it you're right. I mean it does take time 'cause it's it's almost like when you see it, w when you get to experience the peace from admitting when you're wrong and then experiencing the

the lack of backlash that you get and then also the respect that you earn. Mm. You know what I mean? 'Cause it's like I mean when you experience it a few times and you're like, Okay, I'm I'm you know, I'm gonna try this out, I'm gonna Okay, I'm gonna admit I'm wrong 'cause I know I'm wrong. Right. And then y you're met with more respect. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And then you and then you do that a few times and then you're like, okay, this is the way to do it. Right. You know what I mean? It's not that you won't feel that temptation because I mean I think we all do. Yeah. But like it's just with that experience, you're like, okay. Yeah, this is the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, don't don't don't dig myself in a hole because if I wanna give everyone a visual here of how insecure I may be, yeah, it's show my ego when I'm twenty-three years old or twenty-five years old. You know what I mean? I mean that's like the

quickest way ever. I have a guy that that I talk to all the time that owns a big company here in Birmingham and he hears a lot of young guys cause like a lot of young guys want to get into sales and stuff like that. And you know young guys in their twenties 'cause I was the same way, you want autonomy. You know what I mean? You want to like kinda be able to do what you want to do. You don't want to be in a cubicle. And so he always tells him he's like, I'm gonna d I'm gonna give you the freedom, I'm gonna give you the autonomy that you want.

Cartwright Morris (33:04.437)
under one condition is that when you make a mistake, you admit you made the mistake. Yeah. He's like, I'm n I'm not you know, we're gonna be cool here and you're gonna have what you want, the autonomy that you want, as long as Yeah when you make a mistake, we get to talk about it and you admit it. If you don't admit you make a mistake, then you're gone. Mm-hmm. You know, and I thought that was kinda cool. I mean that's kind of a good

rule for guys in their twenties, even their thirties. Like you know? I'm gonna give you what you want, but but you're not gonna Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? You're not gonna be right all the time. And so when you're not right

we're gonna be able to talk about it. And I and I think one, it's gonna weed out people that you probably don't wanna be working with, but then two, it gives the young guy in his twenties the freedom to be like, I'm allowed to tell this guy I made a mistake. Right. So it kinda r takes away that fear too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, I think I mean, if you wanna look insecure then I mean that that's where all my ego comes from. It's like well I'm not sure about this, but I have to make sure that I look like I am or look like I'm smart or you know what I mean? And Yeah.

Well I mean Talk about the most unattractive thing ever to people, you know? That's the thing, it's like w you know, and whether it was in sports, school, you know, our friend group. I mean, like that's the thing is like our peer group kind of creates that or even you know, some of our even our family life is cre that's where it's like, man, creating how do you

Cartwright Morris (34:39.361)
foster that in family so a kid feels secure in who he is so that when he doesn't go into his friend group he then it it is all about performance it looking a certain way not you know s whether it's being the funniest or the most athletic or the smartest. Like we all come to like that we it's kind of fostered in our our communities and relationships so it's like almost built where you get to that point where in the in the work environment it's like, they can't know that I'm

don't know that. Yeah. Or I'm not that smart or I'm not that talented or I didn't know those informations when it's like, you know I mean I always come back to the John Maxwell quote that I've probably used before. It's like, you know, him having that moment when he was in his twenties and he was in a group of men that he admired and I think it was like a group of pastors and he

you know, there's an opportunity to ask a question and he didn't want to ask a question 'cause he didn't want to look d he didn't want to be dumb. He didn't want to sound dumb asking the obvious question. Yeah. And then he goes and then he left and goes, I would rather now I from then on made a decision. I would rather be look stupid than be stupid. Yeah. And it's like, Yeah. At the end of the day, it's like that's that's the posture you have to ha take in your twenties, even if they laugh at you. Like, okay, I just wanted to know. Like I gotta know. Like

You know, like the whole thing there are no dumb questions. It's like, yeah, I think in your twenties, like like we talked about I think in the last episode, there's no bad meetings. Same way. Yeah. That that posture of a learner. Mm-hmm. And that will carry you the rest of your life. You know. Yeah, and if you want to transition to a dumb question, I asked a dumb question the other day.

at work that I certainly should have known. And and I was kinda worried to ask, but I mean if you want to transition into a dumb question or something that you think may be a dumb question, then tell people, hey, I'm about to ask a dumb question. Yeah. And then and then it's okay after that. Right. You know what I mean? Because people 'cause I think you're right, people will respect like, okay, well you know, it's all right. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're actually you're engaging in the process. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm a you know, there's a level of there's a that that says

Cartwright Morris (36:48.661)
something hey I I'm here to learn I'm here to get better that's what that says it doesn't you know versus you keep all keeping it you know to yourself and yeah trying to figure out your own yeah you know we've got a we've got somebody that who's a medical assistant for us and she was in our big we do a big we call it Huddle every morning so like everybody comes together we talk about who's come to the clinic that day all that stuff right and this medical assistant she asked

a question like of how what they're doing relates and helps the entire business. Yeah. And I mean a few of the other directors afterwards were like that was really that really impressed us yeah like she she was trying to understand you know what I mean like why why do I why do I need to make sure that the visit notes are in a demand package you know what I mean well it's like

okay, well this is because the demand package goes here and then this is how we generate revenue and stuff like that. So it's important that what you enter in there is correct. Anyway, it was just a it was a moment where me and two other people kind of looked at each other and were like, All right, that's yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah. That's great. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I'll I'll so that that's a good example and I'll give a bad example of I mean I've I've worked for somebody and I start wanting to know more the process behind the curtain type stuff.

and they took it as me questioning their ability and so they got mad right at me for asking those kind of questions and like you know and stuck in your lane. You know, right? Yes. And it could have been it was just poor timing. I didn't ask it in the right moment where they're but whatever. But there's still like that's where you can so I think that's where

she getting that positive feedback was probably good because it made her go, Okay, this is a place for me. This place for me to learn, to grow where I'm at, to elevate. You know, to me it was a good sign of like, okay, I don't think I could work for this person long term. Mm-hmm. If they anytime I ask a question, it's like I'm questioning yeah or I'm disrupting their their day by me trying to learn more about what they do. It's like, you know, that's where you can kind of like but but

Cartwright Morris (39:07.007)
you holding it all in and thinking you can figure it out on your own, it's not that's not gonna last long term. Yeah. And so learning how to yeah, develop that part of

your bit you can really it's almost like I think we've talked about this, but there's a level of when you're willing to check here you go, live in the truth, you can then test the waters and see all right, where does I fit? Where do I fit long term? Can I grow here? Can I truly become the bet better version of myself in this environment? So anyway. Yeah, I mean y you know, not having an ego mm really reveals a lot. Yeah.

You know, because it's l well, it's like you've been saying, it's just it's it's rooted in truth where when you have an ego, you know, you don't you don't really know where you stand 'cause you're not Mhm. Yeah. You're self protecting. You're self protecting and then when you do that probably everyone around you feels like they need to do that when they're around you. Yep. Mhm. And so to create an environment where it's kind of a black hole. Yeah. Uhhuh. You know? Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, and we all know those types of people, right? That they

Yeah, I mean if so you create that and then the w you know, one time you do reach out to ask questions, people think you're trying to get credit. You're trying to steal credit for yourself. You're only you're only fishing for yourself. You're not really there to learn. You know, it's just like it's always a net negative too. Like it's if you're at level zero in the eyes of your leaders or whatever, you're not gonna gain any points by taking credit. No you're gonna go negative. Right. Yeah. 'Cause then it's not gonna be it's

Cartwright Morris (40:56.345)
Not about your idea anymore and it's not about it working, it's about you needing to take the credit, which to all to every leader is gonna be like, that that I don't like that. You know what I mean? It's not like, yeah, man, you're right. That was your idea. Yeah, you're going up a notch. That it never works like that, right? But I like I've fallen for that so many times, like and then every time you like try to subtly take credit, afterwards you're like, Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just

It's never good. Like it's so funny though in our minds how this is gonna this is gonna be good right here when I get credit for this, you know? Yeah. It's never good. Well so I mean that maybe a good example to hit it's like and it could be just the way you go about it. Because I I know the what you're talking about, you try to like subtly in a group setting or you do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus hitting it head on going sh s like straight to the leader, like, hey, can I have a you know a minute with you? It's like, hey, you

you in the meeting were saying this, this and this about but I I I felt like you you weren't you didn't acknowledge me from you know, that I did that and that you know, and you can see how that plays out. Yeah. Don't try for a certain result of making sure you get credit, but go, Hey, I I I did a lot of work for that and I would you know not that I need the credit, but I wanna know why you didn't either acknowledge me or you gave it to somebody else.

Like learning to do it that way versus the insecure way of like you write d subtle hint. Yeah, yeah. Like, hey, yeah, you remember when I did that? And I was coming up with that, this was really awesome, right?

Does everybody remember that? Hey, remember Hey, remember that? 'cause it was Tuesday last month at 602. And I wrote it down, it's right here. I promise. People hate that, man. I hate that. I hate that so much. I hate that so much. Like we'll have we'll have different sales interns and stuff like that and

Cartwright Morris (43:07.829)
You know, me and me and Drake or Daphne, people that do sales with me, we'll be working on a on an account for years. Mm-hmm. You know, and then we'll have a sales intern come in and like they'll do like a drop in. Like we'll we'll have them like, hey, drop go drop off cookies and then get out of there. You know what I mean? Like we'll you know, you don't need to be taking questions from but sometimes they'll like

This is hap this happened a few years ago. But they'll be like, Yeah, I've made made big progress on this one

account because I went by there twice and it's like, dude, you d you know, Daphne went by there fifty times over the last three years. You know what I mean? Like she's had ten meetings with them. Yeah. They've negotiated, like, you know, like stop standing on my shoulders and calling yourself tall. Like you just need to understand. Like I think guys in their twenties, like you just need to understand like it's about working hard, it's about learning. It's about man, nothing in your twenties like if your ego has any place in your twenties, I just don't see that

Yeah. Going well at all. And I used to I mean, again, about my coaching stuff, but it's just how I view everything. But like with my players, like it like

You know, these guys are in college and they've always been the best player on their team and they've always you know, and it's like, man, if you come in here with an ego, you're gonna get humbled so quickly. Right. Because there's guys three years, four years ahead of you that are gonna put you on your back. Yeah. And not only that, they're gonna be better, bigger, stronger than you. You're gonna have a target on you. Yeah. If you come with an ego. I don't think it's any different when you're twenty three and you get a new job. I really don't. Right. I mean

Cartwright Morris (44:47.439)
If you come up with an ego, you're gonna have a target on you. Right. You know what I mean? And and and for right or wrong, it's just how people are. And it's just

I mean that would be like my number one piece of advice for guys in their early twenties. Yeah. It's like dude do please, like the one thing to avoid, like the plague, as you get into the business world or you start doing a job, don't have an ego. Yeah. That's getting you nowhere so quickly. Especially for if you're working for probably men. Mm. You know? Right.

Anyway, sorry it was a tangent. No, that's good. It's like, man, love the truth more than your ego. It's like, man, those are the guys that are really thrive, get ahead quicker than those who won't, you know. 'cause I think it even starts in just even the interview process. It starts in looking for a job, you know.

'Cause I think, you know, I would say that's a lot of my getting out of college, just like you know, not even wanting to interview 'cause my ego is too big, like I don't want to do that or

I definitely did that. You know, and it's like, man, I absolutely did that. Think you gotta think in different contexts. so it's interesting. Well there's a really good example. So there's this kind of a way to maybe wrap it up was to do a biblical example and I thought this was really cool. and I'd forgotten about this, but it's when David after he has the affair with Bathsheba and Nathan comes and rebukes him for it. yeah. And David

Cartwright Morris (46:24.559)
He took it right. I mean he didn't he accept the feedback or it started out as a story. He told a story of basically the scenario. Yeah, that's right, that's right. David his response was, Well that man should be you know, kill whatever and and Nathan goes, Come on, man. Look at you That's you know, yeah using the the story to mirror you know didn't David take it to And then he yeah, he broke down and asked for

You know, I can't remember which psalm, but i it's basically him asking for forgiveness before the Lord and what he'd done. Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. King David the man after God's own heart. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's like those moments, how do I create that environment? And as a king, you know, Nathan was basically putting his life in David's hands. But

like, hey, one way to do it is, yeah, through story. Hey. What's a what is a way? That's a unique way for me to hold the mirror. You know, sometimes we think about asking questions or going to a boss and asking for feedback or a mentor, but sometimes it is like just unique ways of figuring out. And some of it is just asking God in prayer, like, Lord, like, send someone.

Here you know, provide an opportunity. Like, I mean, sometimes even listen to a reading a book or a podcast episode like will bring something to light of like, man, I've been missing out on that. And so I think it's just a a heart posture to start with that then you start it starts feeding feeding that thing. Yeah. So anyway, yeah. It's fun, man. All right, can we do a little promo? Yeah. At least at least at least test it out. Cool. So maybe we can

Anyway. Anyway, so this fall, you know, I am it's in it's very similar in line, but we we want to make this podcast. A lot of times when I meet with one on one guys and when I meet in my studies and groups is like how do I, you know, align all three and really so we're gonna be rolling out so this fall I I

Cartwright Morris (48:35.627)
Going through the book of Genesis, gonna use the the stories that God has already s that are already there for us that talk about how do God formed these men and use these different stories to really help men engage in their own story. Really? How do you if you really want to like I th I've really I think it's a John Elders quote, of like, if you really want to grow, you gotta be willing to engage in your own story. What is the story that God has me in? How do I own that story? How do I trust

the story that got and I think Genesis really does kind of kick that off. And so that'll be happening starting the week of August tenth. I got two different groups, one on Tuesday, one on Thursday. Then I've a I think I'm gonna do a virtual group on Tuesday lunch. and that'll be primary teaching. But it's it's interesting, but yeah, I've just kind of like

Really excited about it. I don't know if you got any thoughts on it, but anyway. Yeah, I mean I th I think what I was gonna say, I mean so I mean this has been my story. Going through Cartwright's thing has been my story. And I can tell you this, like, you know, all this stuff that all the stuff that I say on this podcast that has really

I mean, formed my life, not because it's like gonna make you successful, but because it just changes your perspective. It it kinda gives you a it allows you to almost in a way zoom out from you for a second and then just kinda with Cartwright's help, you know, figure out what drives you, figure out you know, figure out that right there, that's ego, you know, this is truth right here, or hey, actually you're not wrong in your thinking.

there. And so I just don't know. Like I I feel

Cartwright Morris (50:26.335)
sympathy for for men in their twenties that in their thirties that don't have a resource like this. You know what I mean? Because it's just it would f I just don't know where I would be today. I'm not saying I would be like in prison. But I'm not sure that I would be I'm not sure I would be in a healthy marriage. Not because Carly's not amazing, she is, but because of my ego. Yeah. I'm not sure that

that I'd have such healthy relationships with the people that I work for and work with. and it's not because I we mentioned this last week, but the

But the point of it is not to you know, you're not coming in to to try and change the people around you. Come in and have the humility to come in and and really change try and change yourself and how you view things. so that you know, you can get through that situation that you're dealing with or you know, it you t I'm my point is you just you need help with this stuff.

You know what I mean? You really need help with this stuff, especially in your twenties. Especially in your thirties. Yeah. because you're you're being hit with it in real time and you don't have the experience to to lean back on. So it's just

I think I just it's probably the most important thing I've I've done. You know what I mean? So like I just I mean, I can't like I can't talk good about it enough. Right. Talk good about it. Talk good. Is that how you say it? Talk yeah Yeah. That's good. Thank you, Bill. Yeah, I I think there is something too of starting with in in the Yeah, it's i there's something about like men we we really need to

Cartwright Morris (52:17.469)
understand these stories at a deeper level. One to one that it it really does humble us to go like, it's not necessarily about me 'cause that's what we do as Westerners when we read the Bible, we insert ourselves in the story immediately. It's like, no, this is a bigger story than I'm part of that God has invited me into. But then two, it really does that next level, it does invite us to hold up the mirror in our own life of how to then how does it then change me. So like but we have to first start.

of like understanding the big picture. And I think that's what's great about this like I I get excited about study. It's like I want men to engage in the story to then self reflect and then how do we and so we're going to utilize the podcast more of like helping men do that through that story. but also like, hey yeah, I'm also like I'm here to one encourage you to meet with somebody one one if and offer my services as as well as like, man, there there is a way to do this well.

and struc help you structure that to go not only hear the story that you've probably heard and hear it but hear it in a deeper way.

But then next level, like how do I then engage with it in a way that it it changes me? And so I think that's really the the fun, the excitement, the power. And so I appreciate Bo you sharing yours a little bit of your story about it because it is it's like, man, there's something to this book that we talk about all the time. And we kind of we easily compartmentalize in our life and there's a separation of it. It's good, but is what it is good to the level where it actually shapes me, forms me, and changes my story.

And guys too, I mean like guys in their twenties, mm you know, I was like this like you start thinking about the stock market and you know, like how can I put in fifty dollars and get a hundred back or you know what mean? Because that's kinda like you know, y you know, men are always talking about that. Like how can I get a return on my investment and y you know, like for something like this, I mean I I just don't know what

Cartwright Morris (54:20.457)
What what's a better return than than getting a better understanding of yourself and having, you know, a better outlook on things, not because Cartwright's some magician, but because he's taking biblical truths and he's not only he's not only teaching me about these things, but he's he's allowing me to kinda spill out all this stuff that's in my head and then dissect it and then give me the truth that's filling in the gaps there. And so I

mean in return, I guess if you talk about return on investment, you are more at peace with yourself. Yeah. You understand yourself better. Mm-hmm.

You understand your marriage a little bit better. Yeah, yeah. You know, you understand I understand why Carly why what I said could be hurtful to her and where that hurtful thing is coming from. Is it coming from ego? Is it coming from any of these things that you teach in that curriculum? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So like I just challenge I mean, like, you know, you're not gonna get three X on your money, but you're gonna get ten X on figuring out who you are, which in turn is gonna get probably, you know, put you in better positions, you know.

Know what I mean? So I don't know. I just think that with guys being like I hear guys all the time, especially the young guys, like you know, you start thinking that the you're gonna get rich on the stock market. But I mean, you know, that's kind of a thing, but it's or Draft Kings or something. But but you're getting DraftKings, that's right. Yeah. But the return you get in something like this is is way bigger than you know, putting money on SpaceX. Yeah.

Didn't that just go public? Yeah it did. Yeah, yeah. Apparently good investment. Yeah. So yeah, well th thanks, Bo. Anyway, yeah, so well I'll have the

Cartwright Morris (56:11.585)
guess the sign up in the show notes or something to click on or you could just email us cartwright @ menareforged . com reach out yeah flip please you know so that'll that'll start the august 10th so be looking for that. Yeah. Find out more information at menareforged. com. That's exciting. Yeah man and thank y'all for listening.